it's a boat, folks, or rather, an article about said boat in the local paper, entitled 'marina wants to send salty sailboat back to sea'. turns out this fellow, robert turobiner, brought his boat to the ventura harbor, and all the stuffyass yachty types are all agog about the name of the boat -- 'i learned from lesbians' and his own original artwork which depicts two topless mermaids kissing. you can just see the kiss in the picture, it looks quite chaste to me. he also has a website, the url of which is apparently quite naughty. the picture is taken to deliberately obscure the url -- all that's visible is 'hemtheywi' though i'm not sure about that last 'i', and the next letter could possibly be 'l'. it's a long url, i'm thinking ifyou____themtheywill__.com. it's so naughty, the paper doesn't reveal it. the article itself is not in their online version. i have googled 'robert turobiner' and 'i learned from lesbians' which is also the title of his second CD, an acoustic CD. i have looked on mp3.com for his name. my not inconsiderable search skills have failed me.
the website is supposedly naughty in title only, turobiner is quoted as saying it 'doesn't live up to its name'. and i can't find a damn thing online. it's a mystery. but i'm on it. if need be, i shall travel to the damn harbor myself with my digicam and delve further into this. i must know.
and as for the harbor management and the fussyass yachtspersons who object to a couple topless mermaids smooching on a boat, well, all i can do is heave a heavy sigh. yeah, like suggestive boat names and mermaid boobies are a shocking new development in maritime lore. two other boats in the harbor, the 'horny hooker' and the 'tail chaser' aren't being kicked out -- i suppose corny double entendres involving fishing imagery are ok then.
can you just feel me rolling my eyes?
I really really hope that The Horny Hooker is parked right next to "I Learned From Lesbians", I mean that's just too beautiful.
This is a little off the topic, but I'm reminded here of a certain pickup truck that parked in the office garage at an old job I had. It was a fancy-shmancy office building / hotel that was (is) known for their snobbery about which vehicles are parked in plain sight, by valet. Accross the width of the tailgate on this new Chevy stepside was beautifully rendered type in big, bold letters (like on a boat) which read 'Thunder Thighs'. I can only assume the owner/operator was referring to a prize horse... but I was still determined to see the person with the cajones to drive around town with that. Never did, though.
liberals. always whining when people aren't "open" like you. but God help someone if they don't think like you. then they're outcast and have you rolling your eyes. you're not so "open" to others ways of thinking are you? when are you lib's going to figure out that this is a democracy here in the U.S.? majority rules. and yes, that means that if one little liberal gets his feelings hurt, it is not incumbent upon the entire community to cave in to make him feel better.
ahh, then perhaps i should have mentioned that there have only been a few complaints, the vast majority of the harbor tenants couldn't give a flying fuck about it, and this has NOTHING to do with "democracy". it's the few uptight assholes that are making the big waves.
as usual.
as i assumed. when a liberal finds someone he disagrees with, they're labeled as uptight assholes or the liberal slur of the day. indeed it is all about democracy. for more spoke out against the boat than in favor. and it is most definitely about democracy when someone like you would label a person an asshole because he or she disagreed with you. respectfully disagree....but wait, you're a liberal. if someone disagrees with your "open" point of view, they surely must be an asshole. how ironic you call yourselves open minded.
are we still talking about a boat with two mermaids on it? what the fuck is wrong with that?
and does your boss at Hewlett Packard know you surf at work?
nice language. i can tell you are educated.
just trying to annoy you. this is so much fun. you're coming to my personal website, and lambasting me for my politics because i believe a person's art (which is no more revealing than any number of "classical" representations of the body) should not be grounds for persecution? it's my site. you're a guest here. you have atrocious manners.
not to mention how cowardly it is to flame someone from behind a phony email address.
so, let's review: you are visiting my site. you = anonymous, rude, coward. there aren't too many things worse than that.
got anything else to add?
i am impressed that you can use WHOIS.
by the way, thanks for confirming what i just said about you in previous posts. so i have atrocious manners for lambasting your politics? i suppose you are enlightened for lambasting the "few" in the marina (and myself) who didn't like the boat? you know what's funny, there's no difference between you and them.
now. since i'm at work, i need to get back to doing so since break time is over. need to generate some tax revenue so california can get you your child support and dependent family check this month.
let's review: my website. my opinion. free speech. private webspace. owned, maintained, and paid for by me.
you: surfing from work, hiding in anonymity, taking afternoon breaks lasting: 40 minutes and 6 seconds. bet that's not company policy. you oppose free expression. and you descend into insults such as implying i'm on welfare.
oh yeah -- there's a word for people who visit personal websites and flame the owners, anonymously: trolls.
Well, I hope that's not the last we see of conservative, because his views were so enlightening. I particularly enjoyed the giant leaps _he_ took in reasoning, i.e., one who thinks that protecting free speech is important is "liberal" (last I looked, this is an issue that everyone should and does care about. The KKK gets their say, why shouldn't the writer of this blog?)-->liberals are on welfare (hey, again, last I looked, the largest handouts the govt. gave were to corporations like the one that conservative works for).
Well, it's jolly having such visitors. Pull up a chair, have a cuppa tea. We've only just begun to tear you a new asshole.
I felt your eyes roll here in Virginia. They knocked into mine and sent them rolling as well. I do think that we need a visual on this craft. If the weather is nice, you should most definitely take a photo safari to the marina.
Make sure to wear really loud Bermuda shorts and a clashing top.
Ugh. I'm betting that one won't be back. I notice - especially in my line of work - that the people who begin their retorts with how uneducated you are - have not the slightest clue. It's one of those quick "I know I'm smarter than you without having to ask" lines. Never understood who that was supposed to impress. Sadly I bump into assholes like that in my field all the time - and they really should know better.
How did it manage to find its way here? You should file this under faq - if anyone ever asks you to define "troll."
in spite of his employment for Hewlett Packard, he was using a very old version of NS which did not send adequate referrer info -- it's possible he was looking for this subject, i've had some google traffic on it.
i did a traceroute and got at least two IPs into HPs systems, so if i really wanted to be a nasty bitch i'd send the times (spanning over an hour -- probably not company policy for breaktime) and the IP/DNS info to the IT and HR departements of HP.
they would have enough internal tracking to find where the http requests were originating from.
i also could have blocked him. [shrug] i hope he comes back. he's my first troll! come back, little troll! come back!
one word for this guy....fucktard (with thanks to og)
oh, i love that word. just love it. and so appropriate in this case.
yeah, and those snooty boatheads would have no problem if there were a 'hooters' next to the marina! hurray for 'i learned from lesbians'!
I think I might be in lust with you, kd. Not only am I captivated by your wit, but you have proven that onmouseover() can still be used in an interesting way and can use common TCP/IP tools to cyberstalk bottom feeding, conservative, clock watching work shirkers.
If you tell me that you run *nix, I think I'm going to have to touch myself!
*swoon*
i'll get there someday. i'm still relatively new at all this. it's on my to-do list, that's for sure.
Thank the goddess! I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if you did.
Here is the website:
http://ifyoulickthemtheywillcum.com/
lesbos was an island, right? they must have fished...
wow. wken. you found it. yeah, it is pretty tame, considering.
Hey, Scott, keep her feet to the fire; she already gets enough grief from me when something doesn't render in Konqueror!
WT? There's worse(better) in the local slips here (inland with the conservatives).
Sheesh. Context, context, context...
...and kd, I know you invited him back; but just in case you change your mind, here's a copy of The Troll Spell for you:
http://users.gurulink.com/drk/humor/flame.html
Use it in good health.
Mental health *g*...
Awww. I missed the fun! You're just the best, kd. And, Dan, that link was hilarious!
I'm seasick from the waves caused by such eye rolling!
Ok, that makes no sense, nevermind.
I must go read that link.
The boat people definitely need to lighten up...
kd, can i borrow your ghostwriting services? i need some good comebacks. or jadedju. either one of you will be fine.
Amen...
ROTFLMAO @ that link! You're ready for your troll when he/she comes back then? ;)
kd, we may be in trouble. Please see below:
http://www.geocities.com/sltimb/PETTrolls
ready? how's this:
dns 156.153.255.236
156.153.255.236 has valid reverse DNS of palwebproxy2.core.hp.com
whois -h magic 156.153.255.236Trying whois -h whois.arin.net 156.153.255.236
Hewlett-Packard Company (NET-HP-B-20)
3000 Hanover Street
Palo Alto, CA 94304
US
Netname: HP-B-20
Netblock: 156.153.0.0 - 156.153.255.255
Coordinator:
Admin,Ip (AI2-ORG-ARIN) ipaddr@HP.COM
650-236-3600
Domain System inverse mapping provided by:
PALREL1.HP.COM 156.153.255.242
ATLREL1.HP.COM 156.153.255.210
Record last updated on 10-Feb-1999.
Database last updated on 5-Apr-2002 19:58:36 EDT.
we have his ass. we so have his ass. his ass, as they say, is ours.
oh, linkmeister. that's too, too funny.
Way to go, everyone!!
I love it!! I have been a raging, pinko, fanatic liberal for more years than you guys have been on this planet. I marched for ERA, I marched for abortion rights, and my favorite hobby is bashing self-righteous, bible-thumping right-wing fanatics. I loathe Dubya with a passion. And don't get me started on John Asscroft!!!!
So, how's by you? You all OK?
KD, I'm in awe... And you say you're new at this. Kewl! I've been trying some of those commands on my Win 2K box, but they aren't there. Bummer. Where did you exec those commands? If its under UNIX, I can read up the man pages on those commands, but they are not on Win 2K. I want to be prepared to take on trolls too. Tell you what, offer an online course nuh?
ironic that "raging, pinko, fanatic liberal[s]" would try to silence someone by intimidation. it's your site and your rules but if you're going to claim to freedom of expression, then you should apply it equally. just my two cents, please don't rip me one like you did the troll.
it's not about SILENCE it's about MANNERS. could you get a letter to the editor published that way? no. no you couldn't. editorial controls would be in effect. my site is on the honor system. polite people don't abuse that and leave flames with no name.
don't hide behind the internet. be a man/woman/whatever and be prepared to defend your opinions via your email. setup a nice free email account, so it won't upset your current one. hell, i'll personally give you and email account, just ask me. but don't come here, poop on things, and leave. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK? apparently. troll.
oh -- and Lorraine -- paralllels drawn betwen this and Ashcroft are so, so appropriate. you know, like the drapes on the statues.
I wonder if this guy is on the list of 15,000 folks at HP about to be laid off if the merger goes through? That might explain the anger. Hey! Psychodiagnosis from one page of comments!
Is there a PETA equivalent for trolls? That would be droll. :)
oh! that is a bit of satire i need to see. PETT. save the trolls!
oh mercy. hehe.
Heh. I still think the best nugget out of this whole thread is "fucktard". I'm stealing that word and making it my own.
I just read the "trollspell" link above...whoever composed that had way too much fun!
i have one more thing to add, before i head out to the beach --
when i say "defend your opinions" that is assuming you have them. as far as i can tell, there was not one coherent opinion about the actual issue expressed in the whole conservative rant. oh, there were opinions about liberals, but was there one thought that could be summed up like "this boat should not be allowed to dock in this particular harbor because... [fill in actual opinion here]" or "other harbors didn't have a problem but we do because [reason]" or "there is a long history of boats with suggestive names and half naked mermaids, and this must be stopped because [why? because why?]"
so: if you are going to troll here, please express an actual opinion about something. preferably, the topic at hand.
dang....I missed more raging butt-sex with a conservative. I really need to BONE UP on politics. Sometimes I think it's the left, sometimes the right.
Either one, as long as they give me some red hot man-lovin' I'm all good.
Hey HP boy, I'm up here in San Francisco ready to go for some bone-down with you!! WOOOOO-HOOOOOO!!!
I am an equal opportunity jizz-beast. Either way, as long as there's lots of groaning and hair pulling.
*smoooooches* girls......
*sigh* i heart hoopty. he's so dreamy....
back to topic. why is it always the religious right? just my observation.
oh hoopty, i do love you. but evidence suggests that that location is likely just the central location for HP's corporate WAN. from conservative's comments (and he could be a woman, we don't know), it would appear he had a personal connection to the harbor, so i'm thinking we're nearly neighbors. maybe the Westlake office?
the contact address would just be where the sysadmin that controls his area of the network, which could span California or indeed the whole world. the traceroute was beastly complicated.
and bran, i do not know why. i don't understand the mindset of wanting to arrange the world around you to suit yourself rather than learing to live in the world, and let live.
good point kd. let live indeed. my entire original premise was that you thought the boat should be able to stay...others in your community felt the boat should go. you labeled those people as "stuffyass yachty types " and something about the local paper being a conservative rag (but that seems to be edited out? (It doesn't matter, if I'm wrong on that last quote, I retract it. )
My original point, and here it is again, so please don't distort it by trying to say I'm a homophobe, a troll, a fucktard, try to intimidate me by posting my connection information. Just answer the question that follows. (Can you do it?)
If a person truly believes in freedom of speech (which I think you do), then shouldn't said person support any type of speech...even speech that advocates a restriction on speech? This would include "stuffyass yachty types" expressing their opinion and not having to be referred to as "stuffyass yachty types". So, they disagree with you. They're simply exercising the same right that you are defending for Mr. Turboliner. They are openly speaking their minds. (Remember, this isn't about sex or free advertising for a website that sells minature penis charms.)
That's all I was pointing out...a bit of hypocrisy when it comes to whose free speech you defend. Personlly, if Mr. Turboliner wants to paint his boat full of naked women, he may do so as far as I'm concerned. He may as well add a couple of gay guys making out and then he can be equal opportunity.
And about posting my name and email. I must graciously decline your offer for an email account and I most certainly understand your frustration with me not posting a way for people to get in contact with me. But when you consider the fact that you will post just about anything you can about me that would identify me, you can see my hesitation. You are correct when you mention that no newspaper would take an editorial without a name and address. But newspapers wouldn't publish the author's home address and number if they disagreed with his opinion. I was shocked to see such....such...fascist tactics? Silencing critics through intimidation is about undemocratic as you can get. That is what drew my "liberal" remark. From my perspective, it seems liberal people always believe in free "everything" until the meet a conservative person. Then, suddenly the openess and live and let live attitude goes out the window. Perhaps you could start a thread on that issue?
You have a great board here and believe it or not, I enjoyed the chance to express myself. But alas, I hope the troll haters were here for this post as it will be the last. The chance to bring diversity was fun while it lasted.
PS Sorry for the long post. It is not a manifesto, just the original premise and some thoughts on postings since then.
first of all, this isn't a "board", it's a weblog. with a comments section.
fascist tactics? yeah, it's my house, i get to be the despot. i don't have to offer a comments section -- i could have just an email addy, which would mean you had to identify yourself in order to insult me. as it is, you took advantage of my offering comments, as a way to throw anonymous slurs my way. so, what i did in response? you had coming.
and let me get this straight -- you have no problem with the boat, but you have a problem with me insulting the yachtspersons who had the problem? that doesn't make much sense, you know, since your having a problem with my problem negates the my having a problem with theirs. follow?
i would have certainly reacted differently if you had expressed an actual opinion on the subject rather than to attack liberal politics in general. seems to me since you claim to have no problem with the actual boat, why the ranting about liberals?
and, if you put a sillyass phony email addy like "nevermind@neverland.com", well, expect geeks to act geeky and track you down. you could have put nothing there, but what you did put just serves to enhance the general impression that you're a ... oh, never mind that.
you know, i put comments on my site (not a board -- a message board would make you create an account with identifying info to post on it), but i'm not required to put up with anything that goes on here, especially generalized, what-does-this-have-to-do-with-anything condemnation of me and my views. spirited intellectual debate would be welcome, if that happened, but in this case, it most assuredly did not.
bottom line is, it was your attitude not your differing opinion (and what was your opinion again? not that the boat was offensive, but me impugning the character of people that objected to the boat was?) that really offended me. and, since you had the attitude and the anonymity, i decided to mess with the anonymity part. because this is my space. (as i've said before) it's similar to the fact that the marina management don't have to respect mr. turobiner's first amendment rights - it's their place. this is mine. you want to call liberals names because they called conservative names? go get yourself a weblog. go to blogger.com, it's free.
attitude would have made all the difference.
The URL for the " I Learned from Lesbians " boat of Robert Turibiner is www.ifyoulickthemtheywillcum.com , Have fun!!!!
I just found your page when I went looking for "I learned from lesbians." Robbie Turobiner (the boat owner) is a friend of mine. It seems as though all his contacts have disapeared though...any recent news in the paper or anything? (I'm not from around the area).
Thanks