December 2002 Archives

"Bloggers are navel-gazers," said Elizabeth Osder, a visiting professor at The University of Southern California's School of Journalism. "And they're about as interesting as friends who make you look at their scrap books." She added, "There's an overfascination here with self-expression, with opinion. This is opinion without expertise, without resources, without reporting." .

ok, so the article's not entirely negative. it goes on and on and on about how the warbloggers have influenced mainstream press. woo. hoo.

ok, i'm in bit of a snitty mood this monday. matter of fact i found pretty much the only negative part of that article and quoted it. because.

so i was laying around the couch watching deuce bigalow, male gigolo, and when it was over i sat up and clicked for email. nothing. i tried to see a site or two with the browser, and nothing. i sighed heavily, went and turned off the old windows box, plugged in the modem, had a small fight with the internet connection wizard which wanted me to go look at the microsoft internet service referral place -- uh, no. so i set the dang thing up by hand. and so it's now connected to my lovely and generous new ISP who gave me this dial-up acct. to see me through the lack of dsl.

i'm connected at 45.2.

yesterday, around sunset, which reminded me of these clouds here:

and this evening, i came home to a particularly welcoming porch, and many prezzies under the tree:
 

reading about the death of Joe Strummer today, i got to thinking some morbid stuff. decided to look up who all died this year. Dee Dee Ramone isn't even on the list! and as for some of the rest of them, well, i was surprised to learn they hadn't been dead for a long time. huh.

and i swear to god every time i hear a warren zevon song on the radio i expect to hear that he's gone too. damn.

Dear DIRECTV DSL customer,

Per your request, we have terminated your service.

* * *
so when i get home tonight, it's all about find the modem and ... suffer. horribly. find the modem and suffer horribly. since this is a week with a holiday, it goes from being maybe friday to maybe ... next tuesday?

but maybe it will be sooner. they always give worst-case scenario time estimates right? so they can look good if they get it done sooner?

* * *
update: called home and chris reports the internet still works. so it's anybody's guess as to when it goes down. probably at the worst possible minute.

i have been doing an amazing amount of sleeping this weekend. like last night -- 11PM to 10AM, which would be a lot if i did it all at once, but it was in 2-3 hour increments (basically, my sleep life is a series of naps), waking up long enough to root around for snacks, (several times, eating instant flavored oatmeal right out of the packets, i'm like that), and waking up finally for good in a mass of crumbs and feeling all itchy. night before last i had a similar amount of sleep and even managed a longish afternoon nap yesterday. it would be nice if i felt rested but i have at least one strenuous dream per sleep session - this being the last of the bunch, one of the better ones. matter of fact, the last two times i went back to sleep this morning, it was for entertainment purposes only -- the previous dreams were far worse. hostsage situations and being chased and fleeing and things not working when i needed them to and stuff. so i kept going back in for a different one, i wanted something less icky to be sticking with me during the day, as dreams do.

sigh. i'm feeling better. but i'm looking around me and realizing this house is a disaster from me ignoring it all weekend. and i've been reading only a fraction of my favorite blogs, which truly bothers me. basically i've done nothing but nap and dream. and eat.

kind of a lost weekend, but not in a good way. well, anyway, i'm back now.

so i was in debt to this fast food joint, and somehow i had been paying them in food, buying the food and giving it to the accounting department? and then i started to worry that they hadn't been crediting my account, that they had just been finding greasy bags of food on their desks and eating them not knowing where they came from? so i went down to talk to them and in the waiting room (this was a really elaborate fast food joint, huh?), there was this big, pretty purple inflatable airplaine thingy saying 'join the french foreign legion' and flying back and forth across the room. i try to get pictures of it, which i don't think will come out, and i'm thinking, you know, if i were less responsible, i'd just go join the legion and not worry about the hamburger bill. i decide to investigate. i go on a demonstration mission with them, we're in flimsy boats in a stormy sea, and we manage to land on the beach. we have to return to the burger joint over this bridge with interesting lights, which i'm trying to take pictures of as we hike across, but my camera doesn't have enough functions to get that kind of low light fancy stuff. on the other side there's heavy traffic and these guys are running right across but i hesitate, feeling this feeling of urgency yet not being able to see enough of a clearing in traffic to make my way across.

finally returning to the burger joint, one of the accountants shows me last month's trial balance, and sure enough some of my payments were received, but not all. it's ok, i reason, since i've now realized how weird it is to pay a restaurant in their own food. the owner of the restaurant has a construction company, and he's looking for painters. hey! i used to work for a painting contractor, maybe ... no, i don't know ... and i wake up

This is not at all to suggest that the Revolution was a sort of non-stop bacchanalia, but that partial drunkenness was often an important component in a certain type of revolutionary excitability, particularly in meetings or committees. --Richard Cobb, The French and Their Revolution [source]

let's all get drunk and get subversive, let's all get drunk and get subversive, let's all get drunk and get subersive ... and lay in a great big pile.

randomly: when i think the plural of toothbrush my mind pronounces it teethbreesh. for some reason. anyway.

the other evening, chris tells me, 'oh! forgot to tell you. rinse your toothbrush in really hot water, this morning i heard these clanking noises in the bathroom and the kitty was up on the counter with the toothbrushes.'   [he tells me this a little too late to do anything about that morning's brushing, so eww, but anyway]  'i don't know if he likes the toothpaste or is trying to drink the water'  [kitty will not drink nice fresh water from a water bowl. he's all about dirty sinkwater, faucet drippings, or, apparently, teethbreesh]  'well did you smell his breath? is he minty?' i asked.   [no, he's not about to smell kitty's breath]

well at first i didn't believe this was accurate, probably out of denial to think of having used a toothbrush that had been licked by a cat who licks ... himself. but one of these weird sleep nights i got up to go potty and sure enough, kitty was right up there on the counter and the teethbreesh were a-clankin'.

eww.

it's my daughter's twentieth birthday. of course i haven't heard from her since she split for france nine days ago, not a phone call, not even an email. *tsk* these kids today.

i guess if i priority mail some of my son's kindergarten pictures to my parents, that could be like a christmas present? if i haven't done this by now, it's not like it would get there, though will it? sigh. better late than never i suppse.

beginning to stress about arrival of dump truck and camera, even though late presents won't be a big deal, really. there's plenty.

you know those cute Chevron cars? found two really cool ones (the discontinued four wheeler model with the bicycles and a really cool one with shiny blue paint and a popup smiley engine) at the Chevron station. i'm not sure who likes them better, me or my son, but they're for him, ok?

kicking myself for not thinking of shrinkydinks. there's still time, but not that much time, and aside from that, i should at least get to toys r us to see if they have kirby for gameboy advance. but the thought of toys r us this near christmas scares me horribly.

my son appears to have ants in his pants. also he keeps telling me he likes wedgies. these things are unrelated, unless they aren't. also, he got up and cleaned his room this morning before i woke up (at nine). he's such a good boy.

i'm very scattered.

ahh, shopping. went to game stop, went to target, went back to game stop, then hit taco bell -- all in the same shopping center, due to the buick (which i am proud to report, can actually set off other car's car alarms with its knock). then stopped by work for my check, since the Golden Debit Card of Doom will only go so far before i actually have to put money in the bank.

 

the haul so far: one red game boy. sonic advance. rechargable battery pack and AC adapter. tub-o-play doh. clipboard art set. sturdy boots with flashing red fire trucks on the side.

since i don't technically have to go to work today, i've decided not to go. which has something to do with being awake till, um, four-something? sigh. i tried to go to sleep. i was just awake.

anyway, it's a floating birthday holiday paid day off type of thing, and even though there are four whole shopping days till xmas, i decided to take the day and do the shopping today. pretty simple: game boy advance, some games, and some cool kid shoes.

ok it's not that simple. i know he likes kirby, and spryro, and sonic the hedgehog. who doesn't like hedgehogs? the choosing of games is not the easiest thing here. i suppose it will depend on what i can find at the local used game shop, since more games is a good thing.

the hardest part? not taking the thing out of the box and testing it out for the kid, you know, to make sure it works and all. sigh.

 

so this morning as i left the house, i worried about not having anything i felt like bringing for lunch or snacks. silly of me.

in the kitchen here, right now: homemade fudge, chocolate walnut candy, apricot bars, two carrot cakes, white chocolate/macadamia bars, and two dozen krispy kreme doughnuts. in the tech room: entire gift basket full of food. on my desk: remnants of a bread bowl formerly filled with cream of broccoli soup, which was quite unnecessary, really. but i ate it anyway, because ... well it was there. *urp*

as nice as this sounds, the real holiday pigout doesn't start here, till the tamale ladies do thier thing. last year i believe fifty pounds of masa was mentioned -- the tamale ladies don't mess around.

i can hardly wait *urp* but i could sure use a nap.

i picked this up from She -- it's been to other places, like Dan and Lynn, both of whom i can't permalink; Kitty and Linda have also shared in the cheer.

feel free to pick up the wreath and carry on, leave a comment or ping so we'll know where it goes...

best explanation i've ever read.

kind of changes my perspective on gravity. i have been pretty resentful of it lately. but now? i'm ok with it.

in fact gravity played a part in this weird dream i wish i could remember enough of to actually post in the dreamlog. the gravity part = struggling up a fairly flat sidewalk, climbing the sidewalk, only to get to this dirt field, and then gravity gave up on me entirely and i flew back to where i started.

the rest of the dream was even weirder. where was i going with this? ahh, back to the beginning. gravity = blogs. it makes sense.

ornaments and a little painty clay potlike thing:
 

goodies, and goodies upclose and personal (from work today):
 

a tree drying on a monitor, and mike from monsters, inc., suspended by mardi gras beads on the tree:
 

found at Bluiguana:

Feds Want To See Enron Videotape - (resident bush also takes part in skit). go on, follow that link, and look to the right of the article -- click the "watch clips from Enron tape" link. no, nothing new or shocking, but ... my god. those arrogant fucks. they were playing with the money, and with the lives and futures of all their employees at that point (six years ago, when everything still looked rosy), and they thought it was funny.

ok. so i've contacted a local reseller of pac bell dsl, dock.net, as recommended by the sales guy here (we actually sell DSL here, to businesses). anyway. talked to a very nice lady named heidi, whose direct extension i now have (w00t!).

the bad news: there is no way to switch me without me cancelling my current DSL and letting the service be turned off. it will then take approx. five business days to get me back up and running. Heidi says she can hook me up with a *shudder* dial up account in the interim, which means that i'll have to dig up that modem which only works with the (ancient, crashy) windows box.

this means five days of my only internet being dialed up from a 350mhz K6 with like a fourteen inch monitor. five *business* days.

just kill me now.

oh crap oh crap oh crap.

It is our sincere regret to inform you that DIRECTV Broadband will discontinue operations. This email shall constitute DIRECTV Broadband's 30 day notice of termination to you. Please be aware that DIRECTV Broadband's network (including your email services) will remain operational for a minimum of 30 days from the date of this notice.

so. *breathe* this means i have thirty whole days in which to (a) find a comparable service, one that works with linux, and (b) get them to send me the modem and activate me and stuff within thirty days when there is a major flood of people just like myself trying to all get new service at the same time and ... *breathe* oh god oh god oh god.

i loved my dsl service. loved it. loved the multiple computer support, the way it worked with both operating systems without even having to have software installed. i always felt so close to my DSL service, it was my colleague, my companion, it was always right there with me. and now my friend is going away.

i get a goodly number of googlers googling for 'silly rabbit'. this one was just plain insane .

so you know those stress tests where they assign numeric values to stressful life events? like this one? well, their list is long, but not very comprehensive. here's mine, for the last 12 months:

lying weasel x-roommate small claims court thingy.
changed operating systems on main computer.
blogcon.
started really getting that old vision thing where you can't focus upclose.
my baby started kindergarten.
major dental work/debt.
those server moves - remember the server moves?
semi-major car screwuppage.
shaved my legs -- twice. maybe even three times.
became really subversive.
i always feel like somebody's watching me. really.
traumatic, unprecedented pant size.
getting downsized/becoming unemployed a freelancer.
losing my DSL provider (let's assign the 'death of spouse' point value to that, shall we?).
daughter in france for the holidays.
the holidays themselves.
france.

so how much would that be? do i win?

there is unrest in the forest, there is trouble with the trees ...

you know, these things happen.

absolutely amazing out there -- fifty-seven degrees, breezy, huge puffy white clouds, air all washed clean by the storm. definitely feels like california december. if i had the spirit of it inside me, this would be perfect.

i don't.

it's like guilt, but whinier. it's like, i want so badly to be like some of the lovely people i know who select wonderful gifts and package them up and ... see, i fantasize about that. literally. i sit and daydream about going wishlist-hopping and doing that sly but effective 'give me your address i'm sending out christmas cards' ruse and subsequently making packages appear on other people's doorsteps, as they have been on mine. i mean, i'm not even sending out christmas cards! i suck.

i'm sorry, i'm having what might be considered an extended monday. i actually thought it was wednesday, then found out no, tuesday and thought, crap it's been a long week already.

i'm sorry.

so the kitty went under the tree, and i grabbed the camera:

and then somebody wanted in on the fun:

and then i put the camera away, and the kid exclaimed in great distress, 'kitty has a hook thingy stuck to hims butt!'. so what did mommy do? right. grabbed the camera:

and then, of course, carefully removed the ornament from the kitty's furry behind.

the end.

* * *
addendum: a birthday story. or at least its pictures:
 
being the spongebob purse and the carved stamper with ink, as sent by the epic krix (ocean incense, not pictured, but smelled very wonderful). the stamp can be seen here, from when i was sitting up in birthday chat burning incense and stamping double happy all over myself.

it's been a great season.

... for the birthday wonderfulness, and i was going to do this long post with lots of links, and in addition to that i need to get thank you cards and send them to people via snail mail where applicable and here it is the seventeenth and i've not even begun to do this. hopefully i'll manage it sometime before next december?

feelin' kinda flaky this morning.

or at least pictures of them. firstly, today at work, much excitement was generated by the kitchen sink:

so that was fun. i'll miss working with folks that get all giddy over a little dry ice. anyway.

secondly, and actually thirdly, this evening as i was about to post my delight in discovering that this week, my son's class will learn about the following, in order, from monday to friday: Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, Diwali, and Christmas. to quote from their handout: "Our objective for this social studies unit is to help our children become more accepting and build tolerance for diversity." great school, yes? so as i was typing that happy news, there arose on my porch such a clatter. and lo and behold:

they were very good singers too. i only hope that they didn't notice my eyes got quite a bit extra-sparkly, standing outside in the cool air, as they caroled with great enthusiasm.

well, i'm not getting much done here, but a lot of thinking. and i've come up with two really good things about freelancing. (oh - sorry about the one track mind here today) anyway. thing one: professional development. i've not been busy in awhile, and yet, when not busy, it behooved me to *look* busy, which does not allow for getting really in-depth involved in interesting non-work related projects. sure, i'd sit around and blog and surf, these things don't reqire a great deal of focus, and can be done surreptitiously, keeping other windows open and clicking away when nedessary. but i would be so much better at what i do now if i'd been able to just immerse my non-busy self in creative new projects. so, this is good.

thing two: toys! stuff and things! i am going to be required to get cool new gadgets and goodies. i will need one of those nifty copier / printer / scanner dealies. i am going to no doubt need a better camera. ok i made that one up. but you know. suddenly my need for toys and goodies becomes real. and this is very, very good.

in summary, goofing off = good. buying toys = good. getting downsized = mighty fine by me.

i'm unusually psychotic this monday. on the one hand, i am a little bit resentful and things like "i need your time cards from last month" inspire in me a snarling response like, yeah i bet you do fuckers. you might be discontinuing my department but you sure don't want to be late collecting the money. on the other hand, i have other resentments, and thoughts of revenge bouncing happily through my mind. and this is a long story.

Kelly has my holiday film exchange gallery up here -- all pictures taken with a $6.99 disposable camera. it was fun! i'm relieved that 12 of them actually came out!

the film exchange rocked. i'm hoping there's another one after i get used to my new/old canon sure shot with the cool lenses, i'm sure i'll be able to do a much nicer job with a camera that is actually worth more than the film inside it.

and in case you missed it, my gallery of Kelly's pictures is here

some food for thought, via my inbox:

so i'm sitting here trying to find my way back into my shirt. not as easy as you'd think. ah well. i have to tell you about a book i was given, a book about sex. a book that ... well, i'd given up. and i'm quite sure i told hanne that i would have to hide such a book from my SO, lest he get 'ideas'. because i'd given up on it. i had no desire.

and that's because i got fat. and old, but fat being the operative barrier between me and desire. but she sent me Big, Big Love. and rather than hide this from the SO i decided to go for it. to embrace the concept of being desirable while not resembling a 'friends' cast member. there are other issues, but the primary thing is that i had lost interest in me, which led me to lose interest. in general. totally.

and now i have a book that could change that. i'm not convinced there can be change. but i am beginning to think there is a chance.

i guess the best case scenario of any ad campaign (aside from actual product sales) is the ability to get stuff stuck in the consumer's head. and it goes a little like this:

fire and ice, neither ain't so nice,
not to mention troubles, with sparks and bubbles,
chickens on the run, frozen in their tracks,
hope that purple dragon don't come back,
pack up the sheep and close the barn door
he ain't just a fire hazard anymore.

.sigh. i *like* this. and i also want the game, but that's because i like to play spyro. not because of the commercial. really.

one year ago, in an obscure subdirectory of surreally.com:

i have absolutely no idea