they make fosters in canada. it says so right here on the can.

as we join the internal debate team, they're squaring off on the issue of morning beering. team no stepped up to the podium and delivered a stirring oratory on the virtues of ... i'm not quite sure, my attention went wandering off to find its happy place, where it then proceeded to get laid in quite a spectacular fashion.

the rebuttal from one of the softest spoken members of the yes team was brilliant. it began with several concise examples of frantic stress levels in the overworking department, made a number of valid points in favor of a little self-indulgence from a mental health standpoint, and concluded that it sure would be nice to get laid, but failing that, there's beer.

the captain of the no team, who apparently couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a suitcase full of unmarked bills, stepped up and started in with the self-righteous whining. as the nasally voice droned on, the judging committee conferred briefly and came to a unanimous decision to sneak out for a cold one, and tiptoed out the side door, giggling. you can bet this reporter wasn't far behind, but unfortunately the rest of the story is strictly off the record. the only thing i can tell you is that no one got laid.

for my next story, i think i'll do an investigative piece - 'is anybody really getting laid?'