things that bug me:
war
politics
religion
intolerance
the internet
upsetting television dramas (e.r., law & order, third watch, et. al.)
every single person i spoke to or saw today, more or less
my computer
money
the sound of sirens
wait. i can break it down a little more succinctly:
everyone.
and everything.
no wait. i got it. every*one* is part of every*thing*, technically.
so: everything.
still it persists this offline shit. & to make matters worse the blogging & photos i saved to CD, i can't get off CD because this puter i'm on won't read CDs.
i can't figure out anything in particular to say.
i hate being offline.
***
side note thought of on the way over here: money can buy happiness. if you don't think so you're not doing it right. let me show you. you'll need to send me some money though. paypal link in sidebar under 'what about me'. i'm only half kidding. the rest of me is ... something. i mean, ... i forget.
everything i needed to say has been said, under my breath, to my self, then typed into a notepad window & saved in case time & circumstances collide with blood alcohol levels & influenced fierce needs in sufficient quantity to warrant a sending. hopefully healing will intervene & allow a simple deletion in the meantime.
whatever (is the title of the file. it is whatever.txt). doesn't that sound just like something you wouldn't want to send if you cared about sounding, oh i dunno, grownup? though the wisest advice i received sounded like this & made the most sense "you should be all, like, whatever". my daughter is wise beyond her overuse of the colloquial "all, like", which is damn evocative & an efficient means of communicating things it would take me many minutes & burn too many mindcalories to express otherwise. yes i realize working the brain out is a good thing, however i need to burn in another direction right now, i have certain urgencies (in a word, work).
whatever. i added a shitload of pictures to the galleries while contemplating getting back into the rhythm of code by integrating recent gallery additions into the blog design so i could quit mixing my obvious photobloggeristic tendencies with actual blogging. of course this would mean far fewer posts since i am all about the photographic metaphor these days & that is, i assure you, for the best.
my toilet is still bubbling & has issues with the whole "flush" issue, however it is not overflowing onto my bathroom floor so i am thankful. also the shower is no longer filled with darkly sniffarific sludge. again, thankful. thankful shall be the word of the day, rather than whatever. or perhaps i should combine them: "whatever. thankful." or "thankful, whatever."
i'm going to go lay on the couch and see if that seems viable, after that we start from one and see how two goes, after which three will be lookin' good. there is no fourth thing, don't worry, i'm just in a freakishly weird mood. freakishly. weird.
well, i got my dsl turned back on, and that's what's really important right? as to the rest of everything else, well, fuck.
tembak. that's a bad thing right? all google has is stuff in (possibly) malaysian? but certainly has a familiar, rather sinister ring to it. and the 95% server resources it was hogging didn't make me feel real fuzzy towards it either. but in order to kill it, i have to find it. it's a big server.
i was going to go into how exactly much i don't know about this, but instead i'll get back to scowling pensively at the various server administration thingys i have open.
* * * * *
oh.my.god. so i ran the apache upgrade because it said it was insecure, and because tembak is a malicious somethingorother, being run from two different IPs i traced to Jakarta, Indonesia. so i upgraded. and apache crashed, ftpd crashed, mysql crashed, and ... right, exim. so, the server was fine except for not having database access, email, ftp, or the ability to serve pages to a browser. full reboot got apache started well enough to be able to deliver some lovely error messages. restarted mysql, restarted ftpd. exim is taking its time.
how were the goddamn indonesians running tembak on the server? i need some tequila.
* * * * * *
UPDATE TO THE UPDATE
the upgrade of apache is won't run PHP files CHMOD 777 which is like, most of them, because it's world writable do you have any idea how many fucking PHP files there are on these goddamn servers?
so i finally figured out it's
find / -name *.php -exec chmod 755 {} \;
otherwise i think i might have had to do something drastic. goddamn motherfucking piece of shit computers.
* * * * * * *
* * * * * * *
ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING UPDATE
i can fix 'em all i want but one MT rebuild sets 'em back to 777 and kablammo. fuck.
know what? i'll be back. i need to go get beer.
so i figure if this blonde stuff wrecks my hair, i can just cut ... some ... more ... of it off. fortunately, i have the sort of hair which can be cut unevenly & actually look better that way.
and it gives me something to do while i'm waiting for this itty bitty table thingy made out of a micronuked mini-cd with an elizabeth arden bottle sticking up out of the middle, and arms for legs, to dry.
this blonde thing has turned out to be such a bad idea. nothing like a good bad idea, i always say.
well, it is lighter. and more even. it is, however, still nuclear mutant carrot.
