mommy? what's go, with a p?
oh, that's GOP -- it means grand old party
oh a party!
no, no, it's not a fun party. it's a political party. republicans.
publicans? what are publicans?
* * *
sheesh. couldn't he have asked me where babies come from, or where we go when we die? how do you tell a little kid about ... republicans?
do you want to compile apache with phpsuexec? highly recommended.
highly recommended my fat white ass. look, i know i'm new at this. i chose the option for beginners, the one that says it's for beginners, the recommended one. and what does it do? changes the way PHP files permissions work on every PHP file on the entire fucking server. gee thanks you clueless geekwad fuckwits, i really enjoyed the two hours of sheer unmitigated panic. how lovely that in your little world everyone writes scripts that set flawless permissions in order to comply with a server software THAT IS IN GODDAMN BETA. sure, yeah, i've got what maybe a hundred people with sites on this server and of course they'll all know just what to do, they're all fluent in command line and i'm sure they are well-versed in the wonderfully strict new rules for CHMOD'ing PHP files, simply everyone's talking about it dahling.
i'm actually shaking mad about this.
and now i really am going to go get beer. i've recompiled the apache and all should be well. i'm sorry it took so long, but i had to look everything up. while answering emails by the dozens. and getting reminded how i need to go to the store and we're out of this and and and and.
beer. and aspirin. i'm on it.
if i ever lose it, i mean fully completely absolutely no doubtaboutit lose it, it'll happen in the grocery store. what is it with the grocery store? no matter what mood i'm in when i hit the front door, by the time i hit it again i'm hanging on to sanity by one handle & there's a big hole in the bottom of the bag. maybe it's the subliminal whinefest of the muzak, which i'm sure is a well-researched whinefest indeed, designed to make ninety-nine % of the population buy shit they had no idea they wanted, while i, as always, inhabit that other %. or perhaps it's the overwhelming bombardment of marketing messages, which taken as a whole take on a quality of desperation, triggering my codependent tendencies - could it be i feel bad about not buying the ninety nine thousand nine hundred forty seven things i don't buy? and there's no way to say there, there, i'd buy your cleverly packaged nonsense if ... ok, i wouldn't, but it's not you it's me, nice work though, *pat pat*. or it might be because i can never entirely remember all the reasons i'm there and so failure seems more or less inevitable - once for a month straight i forgot to buy butter. the toast sucked that month.
i mean, i don't know if it's just me -- does everybody get asked by at least five different courtesy clerks in that earnest, courteous way they have, if i'm finding everything i need? or am i wearing an expression that screams helpme helpme heeeeelp me? and how exactly would i find what i need in the grocery store, when my needs are ... aha! it's the clerks. they should stop reminding me about my needs.
the clerks bagging at checkout are also the way i gauge the extent of the damage of any one shopping expedition - how many times do they ask me if i need help getting my poptarts, coffee creamer and tunafish to the car? once, ok. but if they ask me three different times, like, are you sure? obviously at that point i'm the walking wounded, and it shows.
today the clerk, who was 20 years my senior if a day, only asked me once. i can't imagine having a working retiree carrying my groceries, but apparently the working retiree could.
really, i'm fine. but i sure wish that online grocery ordering service hadn't gone under.
before i got another bottle of that brightbright orange stuff , i had to grocery. and sometimes when i grocery, well, i just have to wonder.
crack for breakfast?
energy? does it need batteries i wonder?
the checkout counter proved the highlight of my shopping expedition. look -- how romantic:
i am going to go get more beer. rare enough an occurance, therefore figured an announcement was in order.
been writing stuff. not a lot, but some.
although i generally disapprove of the usage of the special characters on license plates, i'd make an exception for these (which appear to be available, amazingly enough, maybe i'm the only person in california that feels this way? naah.)
if i did not already have the most outrageously cool license plates, i'd be sorely tempted to run down to the DMV this morning.
do you know at the same time i got HTTP WWW, i almost got LIC PL8 as well? sigh. cool plates are just ... cool.
first of all, major thankings all around, for all the love & support. & apologies for not updating more, i suppose the worst bit had to do with the fact i seriously regret posting that. seriously.
in any case, things immeasurably better around here & no, i don't know what the answer is, i feel that things will move at their own pace towards their own conclusions, & in the meantime, i've been crazy busy.
spent the day home working my ass off on work-work. just now saw daylight on the thing, just. now.
onward.
