plane (crashes), trains, & camaros

i’m visiting an old friend from junior high school who lives in Modesto. i don’t remember her name, but she is a six foot blonde with a couple of beautiful kids & a very unhappy marriage. she works in the family business, some sort of travel agency. i have my old 85 Camaro Berlinetta, i am driving in Modesto, & i see ahead of me, two planes together headed straight for the ground. i jump out of the car & run for cover, i’m thinking of when the towers collapsed & those huge clouds of smoke & dust. there is debris, but nothing like NYC, then i realize, this is Modesto, there are no large buildings here, so i head back for my car. my friend was with me, with her dog, they must have run in the opposite direction. i find my keys in the street, they are the keys to my Buick, but they work. i have to wipe the dust off the windows first, then i get in & drive off. the car is running funny, probably the air cleaner clogged with soot, but it’s still a damn fast car.

later, my friend & i are talking & she is telling me about people we knew, & knew well. i do not remember them at all, & theorize that if i don’t rememeber that whole period in my life, maybe something really bad was happening to me that i don’t remember anything. i consider going into therapy to see if i can regress & remember, then i realize most of that stuff is a crock of shit.

then, i am having dinner with my high school sweetheart & his family. his brother is there with his new fiance?, she is tall & thin & i feel very fat. in fact i think someone makes a comment about me being fat. still, everyone is borrowing my clothes. i am still in Modesto or something that feels like Modesto but i don’t have my car anymore – i have my bike & must take the Amtrak home, but get off in LA & ride the rest of the way. i do this twice, but the second time I’m afraid because of riding my bike in LA at night. i know if i stay on the train longer i may get closer to home, but i’m afraid i may get lost. i miss the train, but i manage to jump on the open space in the last car. the train stops & i’m trying to get in the enclosed part of the train but it has only paused, so it takes off before i can get back on it.

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