a little change in the routine

usual morning: get up, get kid dressed, get coffee, sit down at puter, smoke cigarette. no less than one, no more than 2 cigarettes in the morning, then i leave the pack at home & go to work. i do know that i go all day every (week)day without a cigarette, but i make up for this in the evenings, sitting on the computer, especially chatting.

well last night i ran out of cigarettes. i was fine up until i started chatting. chatting is similar to alcohol & coffee in that it causes me to reflexively reach for a smoke. well i didn’t have any last night, & i somehow managed to focus on the fun at hand & not chew my fucking fingers off. ok, i did break down & beg one off of the frito nazi but he was none too happy about it. i made it last.

so this morning there were no cigarettes with my coffee. insead of gnawing on my fingers i am typing this & chewing some nicotine gum that we had laying around the house. it’s minty but nasty.

this does not constitute a commitment on my part to actually quit smoking. but, the thought is there.

20 thoughts on “a little change in the routine

  1. i doubt i’m quitting. mostly, it has to do with being really broke right now. & it also keeps albert off my back — i mean, the constant nagging, you know, it does get to you.

  2. I’ve got suuuuuch a good idea – for smokers trying to quit and for those who need an even bigger buzz than the substance already packs –
    chocolate with nicotine added.
    I’ll be down in the lab mixing some up for you, kd…

  3. please hurry, batgrl. i just found four cigarettes but they won’t last long.

    wait — aren’t i trying not to overeat too?

    this is complicated. maybe i should just be fat & have bad habits. i can do that effortlessly.

  4. god, i miss smoking. anywho…if you really gotta quit, get your physician to prescribe welbutrin for you…this particular ‘mother’s little helper’ got me off the coffin nails in no time flat, and made me hap-hap-happy to boot!

    to tell the truth, i miss my lighter the most.

  5. problem: doctor visit copayment = $30. prescription meds ~50% deductible.

    pack of my favorite “sweet vanilla dreams” = $5.

    problem.

  6. When I was little they showed us terrible videos of people with lung cancer at school so we would never start smoking. I did not but the others…well, what I wanted to say is: Watch such a video it?ll help a lot (but is really disgusting)!

  7. believe me, i’ve seen the videos. i’ve seen pictures of blackened, cancerous lungs. last year at this time i was preparing to go up to oregon to take care of my dad who had a tumor in his chest (not in the lungs but near them).

    it is not that i don’t know the facts & the consequences. it is just that i am an addict.

    did i mention i have asthma? & that i started smoking at 10, which means i’ve been smoking for 31 years off & on? addict. more accurately, nicotine addict with an oral fixation.

  8. They should make nicotine candy. It would sell very well, I would bet. None of that crap they use to cure anyone…I’m talking Snickotine. Caramel, nougat, peanuts, chocolate and everyone’s favorite addictive mood altering chemical. God, whoever was first on the market would make millions.

  9. i know they have nicotine water, & that gum i had this morning, though nasty, did help. of course, i’ve been giving up the ridiculous snacking habits too, so the candy would be a bad thing.

    i’ve decided that those Santa Monica pictures of how shockingly fat i got in the last year are going to be my “before” pictures.

    i have albert here to help me. he sits there & stares at me with his big sunglass eyes, imploring me to behave so that i can feel happier & better eventually even if it means i have to suffer a few withdrawals & the occasional actual hunger pain.

  10. hey you, hold on and keep after it. one of my grad students is dumping the copenhagen habit and it’s tough. he’s gonna make; so can you. it’s a danged tough habit to break. you have my best wishes.

  11. well, i smoked four cigarettes yesterday. i didn’t particularly enjoy them, but i got them out of the way.

    today i am having nicotine withdrawals & PMS. i have a brand new computer sitting right behind me & i don’t even really care. it’s just stressing me out, knowing i have to go home & rearrange everything.

    i really don’t want to smoke, but it would make me so much less of a RAVING BITCH if i did.

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