driving insane

you do not want me in the car with you when you are driving. especially when the car you are driving is mine. but irregardless of whose car it is, if you don’t have the exact reactions that i would have in any given situation, i am going to annoy you. i have a virtual brake pedal of my own over on the passenger side, you know, & i know how to use it, which is more than i can say for you, with your real pedal. when i notice brake lights on cars four cars in front of the car in front of us, i would at least back of the gas. when you don’t react the instant i notice this, i get this horrible feeling in the pit of… wherever. it’s like i’m being propelled against my will into certain disaster.

it’s a really similar sensation to the fear of heights thing i get, if i am anywhere near the edge of anything, i feel dizzy, like i’m being sucked over the edge. that’s vertigo, right? well that’s the exact thing i feel when i see something in the road & i’m not sure if you’ve seen it yet. i can’t help it, i’m going to have to bring it to your attention. sometimes i gasp, sometimes i squeak, & if it’s a particularly terrifying thing i think you don’t see, i might actually yell. it could be a general yell, or if it appears to me that you’re seriously being negligent, well, then i might yell right at you.

actually, the more i think about it, you’d better just give me those keys. save us both a whole lot of grief.

18 thoughts on “driving insane

  1. I think this is true of all drivers who have to be passengers. I was never a nervous passenger until I learnt to drive. Ignorance really is bliss!

  2. when i used to be in the car with my old boyfriend (who is a perfectly good driver, i add in retrospect) i used to convulsively grab the handrest on the passenger door when these ‘questionable’ moments occurred….he was not amused by this habit.

  3. [giggle] Okay, you are riding with me in Vegas. I need to get this on film. I think it’s very important to have this for posterity. “Aaahhh!!!! Look out!!! We’re going to die!!! Aaahhhh!!! Aaahhhh!!! Let me the fuck out of this death machine you insane evil bastard!!! Aaahhhh!!!!” So….. We can film it right? I think I’ll have the aftermarket supercharger installed by then. It’ll be fun! Really!

  4. lol … Jon! You are indeed evil! 😉

    kd, I again feel your pain. Just be glad you’re not married to a man like Jon. I am, and it’s scary as hell.

  5. well, Jon, as entertaining as that might be, i think it’s wise for as many california people as possible to drive up individually, so we have lots of people with cars in case we need tham. really, this is just me being practical. i’m not afraid of you. i’m not!

  6. Hehe! You just exactly described my feelings while being in a car with my best friend. I hate how close she comes to other cars when we have to stop at traffic lights or elsewhere. And sometimes I think she just doesn?t look left or right while driving. I shouldn?t even say something. I?m not a good driver myself but I HATE driving in her car! Yeah I should shut up. I?m just making her nervous and somewhen we?re gonna have an accident just because of ME. But I can?t help it. I gotta be the one in control of everything!

  7. Hey! There appears to be at least one entry missing after this one. I hope you just deleted and aren’t experiencing a problem or anything. Anyways, I’ll be back later so see you then!

  8. I’ve just arrived back from Jon’s and saw his remark about you deleting the post on purpose. Sorry I didn’t know that before. I didn’t realize there had been a problem with what you wrote, and still don’t have a clue about what’s going on, but that’s ok, ’cause ignorance is bliss. Love ya!

  9. Well, I don’t have a clue what happened. I just noticed she pulled the post. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. But I don’t know anything about it either. Assumptions about my psychic powers have been greatly exaggerated.

  10. well, melly didn’t like the way she was portrayed in it. sometimes i do stuff thinking it’s fun without thinking how other people will react. i did mean well.

  11. Oh, hi there kd! I just posted at the same time you did. Anyways, I’m sorry your friend didn’t like it, and I didn’t think it made anyone look bad myself, but then my sense of humor ain’t right according to most people either.

  12. wait – jon’s married? damn, missed again. remember, jon, that adoption offer is always open. you can always use another mother, you know.

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