why i delete stuff

it is not the first time i’ve deleted entire entries. actually, i don’t approve of that sort of thing, but that (apparently) doesn’t stop me. a blogged life is edited enough in subtle ways without the unsubtle deletion of entries that were up for most of a whole day, & had comments & everything.

i have only ever done this a few times, & i have had reasons. they were not all good.

a while back, i went through a tequila phase. i’ve since reconsidered & now i pretty much stick to the beer & the wine, but back in those agave days i posted a few things that could have done some damage to my personal life. in one case, i woke up the next day & the incriminating entry was right there on the screen. i spent the day having unfounded fears. deleted entry, learned lesson.

more recently, i became upset because i had posted about a rather insignificant achievement of mine, which resulted in someone posting something mean somewhere. i deleted that one because i am a spazz. i then reposted it, & for some reason deleted it again (spazz, remember?). i ended up having to repost it & hand edit the original to link it back into the site navigation, because, well, i’m a spazz.

& yesterday, i posted something i really intended to be complimentary & fun, which ended up upsetting a friend. deleted entry, apologized to friend.

i still don’t approve of deleting, really, but i do it anyway. since i don’t approve, i get all flustered about the subject. for instance, just now, i carried an ashtray over to the coffeemaker & was this close to pouring coffee in it. i haven’t really accepted the fact that i started smoking again, so the ashtray in question is a custard cup that sort of resembles a coffee cup… either that, or i’m just a spazz.

14 thoughts on “why i delete stuff

  1. You’re too cute to be a spazz, kd. :0) As far as deleting and/or self censorship… that’s always a judgement call. A lot of times it’s the right thing to do. We think our entries are like spoken words, where a “wrong thing said” can hurt someone, but fade in time… but it isn’t. What we write stays there forever. What totally cracks me up are some (nameless) people I know that can rant and rave about “their rights”, and how many times *they’ve demanded* I change or delete something on my site.

    I don’t usually mind… because at that point I know the damage has already been done. :0)
    …’cause, well… I’m a prick!

  2. You’re not a spaz. Well, if you ARE, then so are the rest of us. 😉 mmm..cigarettes and coffee. I STILL miss cigs, and I haven’t smoked for well over a year.

    I think we’ve all hit the publish button before and regretted it. God knows I have.

  3. i try to have a no-delete policy, but i can’t make myself stick to it. it does have its merits. many’s the time i’ve wished for a delete button or a back button IRL, so having one here is comforting, i suppose. either that or nerve-wracking. i don’t know.

  4. I think the deleted entry wasn?t the slightest bit offending. I thought it was funny. But it?s okay that you deleted it because it made your friend angry. Going through my archives I often think about deleting entries. I?m still changing all the time (will I ever grow up?). For me it?s hard to tell the truth on my blog without offending my friends or talking behind their backs. Sometimes you just can?t say things to people but you wanna share them with someone nevertheless.

  5. well, loki, maybe you are and maybe you aren’t. (i vote you aren’t, based on what i see) as far as kd being a spaz, i agree with you — she’s not. 🙂

    i’ve got a couple of entries that are closed, not deleted, because i may go back sometime and edit them to bring them in line.

  6. The only real policy I have is that I have to be interested in something to post it. Once I’ve written it, I read it, and if I find something worthwhile in it (no matter how infinitesimal) I post and forget. It’s pissed people off, and it may well again, but otherwise I try and let it scatter like seed and forget it. I don’t know why. The way I see it, my garden is messy and untended, but at least I like the view. You have to do what makes it worthwhile for you, or (as I have done) you’ll lose interest.

  7. that is a good philosophy, matt. i wouldn’t be too concerned about pissing people off in a general way, but in this case the entry was about a specific person, & it upset her, & i didn’t want it to continue doing that — so i made it go away.

    other deletions have been to protect myself from me — i.e., when i’m drunk & in love with the world, & make some sort of post that would, if read in my household, cause me to get bitched at pretty horribly. the world, or person, i fall in drunken love with is never the person i live with, & there’s no reason to piss him off with that knowledge.

    i long to write long whiny entries about that particular situation, but i can’t, & thank goodness i’ve given up the tequila so i don’t do it anyway.

  8. I totally think your Blog is your blog and thus you can do whatever you want with it. That’s been my belief from day 1 and if someone doesn’t like that well…..well…..tough!

    Hang tough KD!

  9. yes, yes, it’s my blog but if i divulge links that were given me in an AIM conversation & credit that source & then that source becomes upset about her portrayal on my website, i feel like it’s the right thing to do, to delete.

    i did take precautions — i wrote the thing while tipsy but kept the status as “hold” till morning, then looked it over. it still seemed ok. but it wasn’t.

  10. And gee, til I read the comments I had no clue what you were talking about! Now I think I remember. But I think it’s even more important that you pointed out that you had edited and explained why. That’s an apology in itself.

  11. i’ve deleted a few entries when a friend has requested it after a brouhaha over some stranger’s nasty comment, and also when i thought i might get in trouble or make a bad impression on a prospective employer. i’m a coward, what can i say?

    fortunately, none of my RL friends/relatives is interested enough to read my site even though they know it’s there. still, i’ve learned my lesson and keep my thoughts about them to myself.

  12. i don’t see cowardice in those actions — it might feel that way at the time you’re doing it, though. & if you’re approaching blogging with a balls-out take-no-prisoners attitude, then consideration & self-preservation might feel like some sort of failure. it may or may not be that – depends on how much you value that “in your face” attitude… i am discovering that i don’t…

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