i do the speedball

k, so all my scripts ran out a long time ago, and occasionally i do need them, like now, and so i use the kid’s liquid albuterol to crank the ole bronchial tubes open. (breathe, oh, that’s good, yes) however the burning scalp and the shaking hands and the bouncy keyboard make this one hard entry to type.

and it’s too late to be this amped so i take the benadryl because the beer is an insufficient central nervous system depressant (is the monitor shaking or is it just me or is it one of those so cal mini-quakes? you never know. or at least i don’t.)

it’s all legal, baby. no, can’t be busting me under any influence at all, it’s all totally legit. all quite reasonable. i take one thing so i get O2 to the brain and the other to counteract the side effects and the beer i was gonna drink anyway. so there.

i wasn’t supposed to be posting nonsense shit like this. i don’t like to think of myself as the sort of person who listens to assholes telling me to raise the bar but something in me wants at some level to not suck at this, or just to suck less, even though i’ve never been really in any danger of being recognized for actually writing as opposed to … oh whatever it is i do here.

the benadryl has so far not kicked in, but did i need to tell you that? maybe one more for a total of two, or else no sleep for me.

11 thoughts on “i do the speedball

  1. ok so i just re-read that and it sounds so like a desperate cry for affirmation.

    it’s not. or it is, but i don’t know how i feel about that. ack.

    i don’t need validation. i have my needs, but they don’t include that. or they do. i don’t know.

  2. You are so right!
    “I don’t need validation”
    Rules were written by people for people too ignorant to think for themselves…
    And you, my dear, are not ignorant!!
    So, screw ’em…

  3. i am blogger…hear me roar! we’ll say whatever we want to say, whenever we want to say it, however we want to say it!!!
    and kd…tox is so right…’don’t need no shtinkin validation!’

  4. Honestly, I really dislike it when people try to tell me how to “blog” or what to blog so that I won’t be “boring” people with my life. Sheesh.
    “Rules were written by people for people too ignorant to think for themselves…” Word, labrat. 😀

    kd…I agree with Paige..you rock. Keep doing what you’re doing and screw the rules. 😉

  5. i suffer from some sort of odd need to be things i’m not. what other people are doing always seems better than what i’m doing. and if there are instructions, i both rebel against them and wish i could comply. perhaps i only feel rebellious because i can’t?

    or something. i’m not getting a lot of oxygen today. thinking not my strong suit.

  6. I haven’t read any of these articles, and I won’t. Why bother? None of them can write so well as I. They’re fools and dullards trying to force us all into their cookie-cutters, and they can wander around with their pathetic advice all they choose. It won’t change me, and it shouldn’t change you, either. We tower above them, those of us who write in our own way on our own subjects, and they can stand aside or be moved.

    Makes no difference to me. No one could teach me how to do what I do better. The software’s a tool, and the rest I’ll find on my own way. Go you and do likewise, as you already have…continue to shine with your own radiance. What else do they need?

  7. it was the wiredness & lack of O2 that caused the babbling, which i was of course tripping about because i was wired and…

    vicious cycle, that albuterol.

  8. oh. hmm, I didn’t even take that in as your post… I saw “albuterol” and O2 and I’m worried about you.

    Oh ya, you just said that in your next post – you’re *not* ok…
    let me go over there a minute…

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