incriminating evidence

yesterday, at the beach, my son wanted to play in the water, and he didn’t want to take ?it’s too late? for an answer, so i told him we didn’t have any beach stuff, that we’d have to come back.

i confess: i was not telling the truth. i’m more prepared than a damn boy scout.

in the trunk of my car:
&#183 large, quilted beach blanket i got from mountain dew for saving enough of their soda caps.
&#183 several towels (douglas adams was so right about always having a towel. trust me.)
&#183 solar/hand crank powered am/fm radio that gets a handful of decent stations.
&#183 jumper cables and rechargable car starter you power from the cig lighter.
&#183 (note: driver carries triple A card and cell phone, we are safe in the buick)
&#183 change(s) of clothes.
&#183 car care products, no less than six containers of various ways to engage in automotive vanity – like new, hardly used.
&#183 old purse, grooming products, fragrances.
&#183 rain ponchos.
&#183 and some other stuff, i’m sure. my trunk is like that. i can spontaneously go to the beach at any moment and lay on a blanket and listen to rock’n’roll and have clean, unsandy clothes to change into when i’m done, and if my battery dies, i’m ready. it can rain, i’m ready. the only forseeable things i need to add are canned convenience food, a can opener, and bottled water. i’ve always wanted to have a fire extinguisher too, and a first aid kit and maybe some tools, not that i could fix things with them but you know, just in case.
&#183 oh, and this thermos. but that’s all.

9 thoughts on “incriminating evidence

  1. hmm… the kind of first aid kit i’m envisioning would certainly have a snakebite kit, and a bee venom kit, and a defibrillator, and rudimentary surgical equipment such as i might need if a trauma doctor was talking me through an emergency tracheotomy over the phone…

    oh! i need road flares too! and a maglite!

    i’m not as prepared as i thought, am i?

  2. yeah, i need those too. especially the shark repellent.

    it’s a big trunk, i have lots and lots of room left, still. hmm, what else can we put in there?

  3. You make no mention of a spare tire, jack, emergency flares or reflective road markers to keep people from smashing into your broken down Buick at the side of the road. More significantly, you obviously need to lay in large quantities of Twinkies and Doritos. Maybe some bags o’ popcorn like that friendly one you had on your desk a while back. Never underestimate the value of carb-laden snax in an emergency. Mmm, food coma.

  4. they remember me most of the time. but they seem to forget easy.

    anyway, i have all that spare tire junk, i know, i saw the triple A guy use it once! it’s just underneath the carpet so i don’t think too much about it.

    speaking of albert, he… he didn’t make it.

  5. With a little McGiver Survival Training you can probably improvise everything else with an old shoelace and some chewing gum.

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