that’s just the way it is

starting out buoyant, irreverent, & springy with hope.

inevitably, there is more to it than that.

drifting down the morning ending here, 3PM, post-lunch crashing, defeated.

what brought me here? active server pages, for one. reality interfering with my favourite mental diversions, the things i envision to give the brain a break from the ugly-ass code i’m supposed to be fixing, for another. actually i could have had no broken programs to repair & still fallen this far, it’s just the way it is. or the way i am, whatever. i’m sure i’ll feel better later so don’t bother. move along, nothing to see here.

i merely needed a little release because crying at my desk is just so girly. i may even delete this in a few minutes, i don’t know & quite frankly i don’t care, i have to click save now.

9 thoughts on “that’s just the way it is

  1. ASP is so stupid! so convoluted! it makes almost no fucking sense! when there are PHP & MySQL in the world why in the name of fuck would anyone actually choose to develop in this environment?

    i’ll tell you why. they do it deliberately then they always have a “career change” & then i have to come in & clean up after them. they’re doing it specifically to piss me off. it’s a fucking conspiracy.

  2. Lithium – Nirvana
    I’m so happy
    Cause today I found my friends
    They’re in my head
    I’m so ugly
    But that’s ok, ’cause so are you
    We’ve broke our mirrors
    Sunday morning
    Is everyday for all I care
    And I’m not scared
    Light my candles
    In a daze ’cause I’ve found god
    Yeah he he yeah
    I’m so lonely and
    That’s ok, I shaved my head
    And I’m not sad
    And just maybe
    I’m to blame for all I’ve heard
    And I’m not sure
    I’m so excited
    I can’t wait to meet you there
    And I dont’ care
    I’m so horny but
    That’s ok, my will is good
    Yeah he he yeah
    I like it
    I’m not gonna crack
    I miss you
    I’m not coming back
    I love you
    I’m not gonna crack
    I killed you
    I’m not coming back
    I like it
    I’m not gonna crack
    I miss you
    I’m not coming back
    I love you
    I’m not gonna crack
    I killed you
    I’m not coming back

  3. i don’t know what ASP is, but i recognize that bad place. i hate the bad place…it grabs you and sucks you in when you are a bit on the vulnerable side. i am going to tell you the only joke that i know now…

    what is the difference between the rolling stones and a scottish shepherd?
    the rolling stones say ‘hey you, get offa my cloud’, and the scottish shepherd says ‘hey, mccloud, get offa my ewe’

    i hope that you feel better!

  4. Doncha love it when a song fits your mood like that?
    Even if it’s a pissy mood?
    I’ve been in a Lithium mood before – except when I read that back it sounds even worse…

    This too shall pass?
    ASP must really be a bitch…

  5. Hey!! Your songs are awsom two pack!!! I am sorry that you passed away but you’ll always be remembered by your biggest fan Alma and Jusuf !!!!!!!! WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

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