have a day

the wind makes some of the most obnoxious noises around this house. my head doesn’t hurt, yet i wouldn’t say it feels good either. i have no cigarettes, nor should i have any, and yet, i miss them fiercely. i may go buy some shortly, much as i’d like to be able to claim i quit during a period of mad life-stress, ain’t gonna happen. i’ll be calm when it happens.

well, calmer than this.

no, i’m calm. i’m deadly calm, almost focused, flat affect. autopilot.

i’d rather have a real hangover than a dream hangover. i wish i could still post my dreams, but i can’t. there are so many things i can’t say.

i’m sorry, i’m sure i’ll feel better later, i need to get out of this fucking house, no matter what.

2 thoughts on “have a day

  1. get. out. of. the. house. Drive to the store. buy a ton of smokes. drive to the beach. if it’s too windy don’t even get out of the car. just sit there and watch the waves and smoke. drink a beer if you can, or a coke if you can’t. breathe. breathe some more. close your eyes. think of a moment of pure joy. concentrate on that. remember that you are loved. concentrate on that. breathe. breathe some more.

  2. actually i just got back from there. i even forgot my inhaler, and it did not matter. i’m going to go through the photos and make a big ole post about all that right now.

    sometimes a couple hours make all the difference.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *