it seems i might be a commie

interviewer: are you now or have you ever been a commie?
me: no! no! i am not a commie! i want to kill all the commies! i want to kill! kill! i want to eat burnt dead bodies! i…
interviewer: you’re quoting alice’s restaurant
me: always wanted to do that, sorry
interviewer: [raps me lightly across the knuckles with a stick]
interviewer: who won the world series?
me: the A’s
interviewer: wrong!
me: in 1972, 73, and 74 they did. you didn’t say which year.
interviewer: don’t get smart with me
me: you want i should get dumb then?
interviewer: [smacks me upside the head]
interviewer: what do you think of the our beloved president, who is revered by over 80% of loyal citizens?
me: i think he’s a dangerous idiot, but at least he’s not a complete whack job like ashcroft
interviewer: no shit, man, i … [composes self, kicks me in the shins]
interviewer: YOU’RE A COMMIE. ADMIT IT.
me: i’m not even sure what one is. i think i was really stoned in civics or comparative cultures or whatever class they would’ve taught me that in
me: ok.
interviewer: so you confess?
me: no.
[everything went kinda fuzzy after that, and i woke up in the parking lot of a deserted KMart]

16 thoughts on “it seems i might be a commie

  1. funny, i was just thinking of getting the phrase “commie lover” tattooed on my forehead… we must have some spiritual commie connection, haha. 🙂

  2. I hear this commie chick is going to blog-con.. Man.. even more of a reason for me to try to go. I wanna meet her. Talk about Dubya.

  3. And you know the letter K in Kmart is red. Kommie-mart?

    “words are way funner when you twist them and stretch them and bend them all out of shape”

    Word aerobics with kd!
    Or Word Yoga maybe?

  4. i think that Kmart symbolizes the downfall of capitalism. or something. but then, i hadn’t considered the red logo. hmm.

  5. So the big hacker’s conference in Vegas has “Spot the Fed” as a yearly game… will BlogCon have “Spot the Commie?”

    PS: My link has changed… the server move was accomplished on schedule. Yay!

  6. I’m a communist. A true communist. Now most of u people out there may say u are. But I bet none of u really are. I bet none of u even know the true meaning of communism let alone any knowledge of Karl Marx. What I am basically trying to get through to you people is communism isn’t as bad as everyone thinks. If people did their homework they would realize communism is everything it is cracked up to be. I do mean that in a good way. If you would like more information on communism please visit: . If you are going to critize communism make sure u get the facts straight:
    #1 There has never been a communist society. No Russia was never communist neither was Korea, Cuba, nor any other country in the history of mankind.
    #2 Communist don’t have to be atheists.
    #3 Communism is only democracy in its truest form.
    #4 Any haterd towards communism needs to be directed towards me!!!!!! And any other comments good or bad. If ur gonna say anything bad about commies say it to by inbox! .

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