the worst has passed, but this is nasty medicine, and i did have quite a lot of it this morning. it’s both foul and vile. only feel-good part is the air you get to breathe. i guess that part could be addictive as hell.
more details, for those of you who don’t mind (more) whining:
i … i smell. and it is not good. something about the sweat of the waning albuterol wire. acrid is a good word. and i am drained. i tried to stay on the couch but i was bored, only one newspaper and couldn’t get into a book, and i refuse to do the daytime tv. there is no spongebob in the afternoon. i am trying not to whine. failing, but trying.
i’m still wearing the little ER bracelet. i know i have to go to the store later and i rather fancy people would let me cut in lines and so forth if i leave it on, but am i willing to be that pathetic? no, no i am not. i blame that thought on my scary morning.
did you know that asthma is getting worse all over the world? yeah. and the doctor, as he prepared to discharge me, looked straight at me and said, don’t wait so long to come in. we’re having more … bad outcomes.
bad outcomes. ok, i know what that means. and yes, i wait too long. when i got there this morning, i was: pulse 137, pulse-ox 89, temp: 97?, peak flow: 75, respiration, i forget, but i recall the nurse saying, try to breathe more slowly, as she wrote s.o.b. on my chart and i was all, now you’re messin’ with a … oh yeah: short. of. breath. hehe. i made an asthma joke.
for comparison, when i left i was doing 250 on the peak flow. it’s over 300 now. 75 is not good. it is, in fact, bad.
i’m writing this mainly to promise myself not to wait that long again. and to take better care of myself. and to — quit smoking.
but first? to the shower! away! or the nap.
promise i’ll be interesting later. i have had lots and lots of thoughts today, which are only just now slowing down their spinning enough for me to catch them.