sometimes i’m the mom

it is past ten o’clock, and my son is sitting in the next room on his computer, having an animated conversation with the game he is playing on playhouse disney. yes, it is too late for a four year old to be up, and yes, i am the mom, but i have serious difficulties in being the authority figure here. i understand completely the feeling of not wanting to shut off the computer and go to bed, so i am at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to laying down the law.

my son frequently objects to what he calls ?stupid rules?. and i do try to be reasonable about rules, perhaps too reasonable. my preferred method with my daughter, when she made rather unreasonable requests, was to say, ?use your good judgement, i trust you?. thank god that worked, i’d never have won an arguement with her otherwise.

so it can safely be said that i have difficulties with authority — i don’t like it applied to me, so i don’t like applying it to others. this is the philosophy i employ over at that big, unruly group weblog i started. it is not ?my? weblog, it’s the sum of all the contributors, who have given time, talent, and even money to make surreally what it is today, a community.

and i woke up this morning to a not-so minor flame war. there was a breach of netiquette. tempers flared. i wanted it to work itself out, but so far, no. the involved parties became more entrenched in their positions as the day went on.

i did what i could to encourage niceness. i refrained from pointing fingers or placing blame. i kept my personal opinion to myself.

that didn’t work out. so i had to make a rule. the first ever rule imposed on what was a pleasant anarchy, and i suppose since the site is nearing 18 months of this freedom, it was time. and now i’m sitting here feeling drained, (i know, i know, this is such a little thing, but it really knocked the wind out of me). and i still dread the fallout from the firefight. it’s not over yet.

can’t we all just get along?

10 thoughts on “sometimes i’m the mom

  1. I hate it when people don’t play well together!! Especially when I’m in the middle, ya know? It is draining.

    (yay! yes, I’m back – whew!)

  2. Boy, that’s a bummer. This is supposed to be fun, isn’t it? Even when the software or hardware won’t cooperate? I mean, that’s part of it… (twisted, I know).

    I tried to get some friends to blog together three or four years ago- that didn’t work out for us. For you to have come this far seems quite a major accomplishment, as well as a statement of friendship. I hope things work out- cr

  3. And 10:30? Honey, that’s not so late. Sometimes my kids are up past midnight. If you can stay up late and sleep in, I’m all for it. So are they. Don’t feel bad. (and 2 of my kids are only 2 – they stay up the latest of them all)

  4. i don’t have any kids, so technically i don’t have any basis for an opinion…but when i was a kid my dad let me stay up late with him to watch the ‘uncanny film festival and camp meeting’. this is one of my absolute best memories. rock on, mamma!

  5. linky, that has to be one of the best lines i’ve heard in ages. my dad was reluctant to give advice as i grew older. i had to ask, and then he’d give it.

    what would i give to hear that advice now? a lot.

  6. well, apparently the issue has been worked out, the post that started it is mysteriously absent this morning, though they didn’t use the message board to communicate. hopefully this means they worked out their differences in private, and everything’s going to be ok.

    i am damn curious as to what happened but i really need to leave it at that.

  7. kd, you played the best role possible. if you attempted anything heavyhanded, it would have just backfired on to you somehow. maybe it was just growing pains? they hurt like hell while you’re having ’em, but then you’re a lot taller afterward.

  8. ‘use your good judgement, i trust you’

    Hoo, boy, kd…that takes me back! My father’s favorite line to me was “you do what you think best, I’m sure you’ll do the right thing.” Frequently made me want to throw something at him.

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