this isn’t self-inflicted (though i’m sure i have some of that). i’ve been this way all my life. strange little quirks that i’ve had to learn to deal with. over time, it gets easier, repetition of the thought process enables me to run through it almost as fast as not having to process the thoughts. but i still process.
what i have trouble with, is anything that comes in sets: bo and luke duke. port and starboard. larry curly and moe. what i have to do is assign some sort of mnemonic to the set, and then call that up and apply it before i know which one’s which. i know curly is the bald guy because that’s the joke, but the other two? not sure. port and starboard? easy. left and right, in alphabetical order, apply in that order to port and starboard, and you have port=left and starboard=right. now, left and right it took me years to master. as a child, i know i was right-handed, so i would make a little eating motion with my right hand. as i got older, i was able to just make the eating motion in my mind, so people wouldn’t look at me funny.
and daylight savings time drives me nuts. last night i was laying on the couch as the benadryl kicked in, trying to figure out if we were ‘gaining’ or ‘losing’ an hour, because one is good and the other is bad. so i’m thinking, of course, spring forward in the spring which means we add an hour which means we’re gaining, which is good right? then i thought no, because that’s not gaining an hour, it’s skipping an hour which is losing. but i went back and forth a couple of times (it would have been the same without the benadryl, but it would have kept me awake longer). finally, i concluded that it was a lost hour, and so mornings are going to feel… earlier? right. it’s going to feel earlier than it is. or is it later? mornings are going to be worse, right?
on the bright side, if i’m ever going for an insanity defense and they ask me if i know right from wrong, i’ll just make a little eating motion with my right hand and look confused.