where are my car keys? you know, don’t you. and you’re not telling me because … why? is this fun for you? you’re enjoying yourselves, aren’t you?
fine then. i see how it is.
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in the news, fifty year old bird clocks five million miles.
@dotlizard
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Did you find your keys? Wherever they were, was my salt shaker by chance there? That damned thing is always sauntering off somewhere….*grumble, grumble*
maybe we should check the refrigerator. i find lots of stuff in there. i wonder what goes on in there when the light goes off…
wouldn’t kleptotheism mean stealing gods? I thought kd lost her key ring. Does this mean she’ll find god?
hallelujah! i found… uh, wait, that’s not keys. not god either. but it’s lots of fun! maybe i’ll play with it for awhile.
oh wait, kd. this isn’t your keychain/cockring. it’s jadedju’s… now i remember how it got attached!
last night was a bit of a blur.
*grabbing it back*
I can’t believe it got all the way over here. Wierd. Last thing I remember is…oh. Now I know how it got here.
jadedju: i’m gonna tell everyone that you wouldn’t even give me a reach around when you did me with your strap-on. oh wait. i just did.
They’re behind the couch. On the left side, near the wall. Don’t ask me how they got there.
thanks! boy, am i late(r than usual) for work!
Suck out my brains with a crazy straw will you? Well, you’ll NEVER see your keys again! Mmmuuwwaaahhhaaa!!!!
Btw, you would starve to death trying to get any substance out my brains! Hehehee!!
)
Love your blog!!
you know, losing them at home is one thing — but then i lose them at work. i know i had them here, i mean, i must have had them, i got here in the car…
my car keys live a much more interesting life than i do. a life of mischief and mystery.
There you are! Well, the keys must be some form of karmic retribution for seeing me everywhere and only clickying right before I go out of town and while I’m in the middle of a day or so of a dry spell. And what if I *had* just gone off in a huff, hmm? A fine pickle THAT would be, now wouldn’t it?
*surreptitiously palms off the keys to the next commenter*
I believe in kleptotheism. God is a thief.
He took your car keys.
car keys? i thought it was a fancy cockring. you sure you want them back?
umm… that’s not a cockring. it’s an official mountain dew carabiner. did it pinch much? and, i hope you didn’t get, you know, anything on my little remote control thingy.
pervert.
Did someone actually say “cockring?” Thank goodness, because I’ve been accused of making that up, as well as anal beads.
They aren’t between your buttcheeks, are they kd?
And why is that bird not on the front page of Newsweek, Time and Life? This is big fricking news, here!!
boy do i feel stupid! yeah it pinched a lot. i’ll have the remote control thingie cleaned… there’s crisco all over it now.
you know, i don’t know if i really want the keys back now. maybe i’ll just push the car. i need the workout anyway.
and you know, say-say? i think we totally need to stop seeing middle east tragedies all over those covers, at least for a little while. i think we need a break, just a little break — to think about tough old birds, and things like that.
kd, prepare yourself to be the #1 google pick for “Mountain Dew cockrings” in the next few days….
bwaah!
and did you guys see this? One of the world’s oldest living wild birds is marking its golden jubilee by preparing to breed again. — he’s fifty, he’s gone five million miles, and he can still do the birdie wild thang! gotta admire that.