disclaimer

first of all i’m number one in google for raging lesbians.

secondly, i need to put a a disclaimer on here somewhere covering my wacky self-improvement plans. it would say something like: this blogger often thinks she’s going to start eating better or less, begin exercising, quit smoking, learn french, sort through the 3073 things in her inbox, change her oil, shave her legs more often, you get the drift. she thinks she’s dead serious at the time. however she’s only fooling herself, don’t let her fool you.

she’s actually fairly content with things as they are, and be assured that she has made some improvements over the past, oh, year or so, but know that she has made them quietly and without announcing herself in a dramatic way beforehand. the announcing is merely some form of mental gymnastics she does to keep her sense of denial in tip-top form.

in summary, it is wise to take her earnest declarations with at least a grain of salt and probably more like the whole shaker. think to yourself ‘oh, that wacky kd’ and don’t give it a second thought.

thank you. we now return to your regularly scheduled blogging.

10 thoughts on “disclaimer

  1. A “raging lesbian” huh? I am feeling less and less queer by the moment! But does that raging mean you are always in a rage? Or that your are such a passionate lesbian that it is out of control? I think it would be good idea to clear that definition up – could affect the kinds of offers you get.

  2. ya know — i wish i knew what google was thinking — the page it was pointing to was a rant about the local harbor kicking out a boat because it was named ‘i learned from lesbians’ and featured a painting of two topless mermaids almost kissing. and then there was a comment about being a raging liberal. (ooh! then we had a troll) that was fun.

    google reads a deeper meaning into these things. we must trust the all-knowing, all-seeing google. mustn’t we?

  3. Ah, kd, we are very similar. Not to mention, I shave when I feel like it. I used to try and be one of those ladies that shaves constantly to keep her legs smooth, but I really don’t get the point of that.

    I don’t get the point of much at the moment.

  4. well, if i make that part of my plans, i might never actually get to it, considering the state of most of my plans at the moment.

  5. Self-improvement is such a crock. Do what I do, tell everyone at the lunch table, while you’re dutifully scarfing down a salad, that you are really working to lose some of your big fat ass.

    Then go home and pile fat-free frozen yogurt in a bowl, pour caramel sauce on, sprinkle with cashews and—-voila’ — instant happiness.

    I’m old. I need all the instant gratification I can get.

  6. The self-deception of self-improvement.. To bring you to my perspective.. it’s like home-improvement ..

    you want to change out the kitchen faucet, but the sink is not a standard size for modern equipment- You go and buy 1 faucet – 1 -sink..

    hmmm the plumbing fittings are incompatible .. you go and buy 1. flange tool, fittings, pipe cleaner, glue or anything else needed .. suddenly you realize that you have room for a garbage disposal .. but that should be easy to install while the sink is out .. but you need to adapt the plumbing to fit .. but wait the drain pipe is too small you need a 2′ diameter pipe instead of .5′ ..

    You get the point.. 😉 ..

    The only thing home-improvement and self-improvement start is a never-ending cycle of change / start and stop gaps / and expense!
    (in case you couldn?t tell, I don’t know anything about plumbing! haha)

    From the comments posted and your own posts, I see that your liked, and seem to be a good person ? why change that? 😉

    Take care –.. Tobey

  7. I have decided with your superpowers (yes, you have them, I just know) that you must be able to turn today into Friday. If you could manage to do that sometime this afternoon, even if it were to happen all of a sudden, it would be so wonderful. I’ll give you my first born child? When I get one? Which suddenly strickes me as a very bad deal as it would require lots of caffeine and chocolate and be hyper all the time. Hmmmm….

  8. i gave up announcing self improvement a while back.. i thought it would jinx the whole plan for me to becoming ‘the best me i can be!’

  9. shaving? what’s shaving?? ooooh, that. that thing i only do when i go on vacation…, once every year or so… and only because it’s in the summer (hot-hot blech-blech), to the Sisters Quilt Show in Oregon, and my pale sticks just might make an appearance outside of my 501’s…

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