one of the many reasons i have this obsessive compulsive web presence here, there, damn near everwhere, is that it brings the attention. incase you think of me as altruistic, remember, i’m in this for me. me. me.

in school, from grade to middle to high, i was quite the not popular person. the weird kid, an only child, mildly socially retarded if i do say so myself. still have those issues with interpersonal interaction. going to work? people say hi. people who, after almost three years i’m still hard pressed to glibly rattle off names. it’s a struggle. i never learned to interact. i say hi back to them, and try to sometimes say hi first. poke my head into offices if they don’t see me, rather than try not to be seen. it’s a start. i’m learning. occasionally i strike up an actual, conversation-like thing. not sure what it is. i’m trying.

so i’m attention-starved in the greater sense — i have overmuch attention from a few factions in r/l (not in a good way, ok? but let’s not go into how much too much my boss ‘likes’ me) but otherwise? invisible.

on the web? no. visible here.

quite visible, by design. i do this on purpose. lesson of yesterday: if hungry for attention/comments, just peek out of the closet and *wave* — great reaction. i sometimes if not most of the time do things thinking of the reaction. write for the audience, and in doing so, for myself, because what i want is, an audience. people to listen.

i’ve got that. this is working out well.

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hoopty needs some attention too. he’s heading for that big fifty k.

27 thoughts on “popularity

  1. which means now it’s time to think of something to actually say, yes? hmm. ok. i’ll get on that.

  2. kd,

    Can you explain to me the difference between “hits”, “visitors” and “requests”?
    I not sure what my web stats are telling me, as I really hate numbers.

  3. kd,

    What would it take to make you feel “visible” in real life? Something to blog about, perhaps, and something I’d like to know about you. I think your answer would resonate with many other people as well.

    I am an introvert trapped in an extroverts body. Imagine the dilemma… 🙂

  4. hits and visitors — can mean the same thing (as requests probably also can) depends on what you’re counting.

    file hits/requests would call more than one thing per page, so if you’re talking about that, it’s much higher.

    visitors implies unique viewings of the site. one visit may encompass several pages, or just one. pageviews and visits are way different.

    my stats are sorta kinda hidden — if you mouse around the bottom of the page under the send button, you’ll see the cursor turn into a cross — click that.

    but they’ve been pretty nice lately. pretty darn nice.

  5. I clicked on Hoopty’s site..
    It is as entertaining as ever…
    So why don’t you talk about how you got into the computer genre of writing and working???
    I always find it interesting how people get into their line of work, and interests…

  6. As long as I’m not the only one who’s doing this at least partially for the attention.


    7 AM and I’m trying to make jokes.

    I need sleep.

  7. that’s why i saved that picture up there. it was a major fluke. i may just unplug my cam now and bask in that one as i grow older and fatter.

  8. Hey I’m an only child too!
    I’d start a theory that we all have a problem with invisibility but Eric’s one too. And since at one time he was in a band and known to wear purple leopard spotted pants, well, that’s not invisible!
    Meanwhile I think a lot of us are listening, we don’t always have something brilliant or humorous to say… Not that this counts as brilliant or humorous, but you get the idea…

  9. yah, and i’m here too. i am the first of three children and was socially retarded. (i’m not anymore — now stop that! 🙂 i read darn near everyday but i don’t always have something cool to contribute. so, someimtes i just lurk…. (and am sneaking past the door…)

  10. What’s wrong with “only childs” wanting a little attention… and weren’t we all a little weird and socially adept as kids?

    … well if my “imaginary friends” weren’t always picking on the kids in school, I bet I woulda made a lot of friends.

    Trust me, despite the FALSE rumours of me wearing purple spandex, I was a total introvert until I first got laid at 21. :0)

  11. yes, boobies. indeed. god, i overslept. but i didn’t want to miss the part of the dream where i was picking up the academy award for weird hats. then for my acceptance speech i whipped out an unemployment pamphlet and read some guidelines. i guess that part woke me up? no, because it was after that i could so feel my wacky tv series had jumped the shark.

    this is a comment? umm.

  12. Eric? do you still have imaginary friends? i do. i talk to them all the time, only most of them are really me, just different aspects of me. they watch over me, keep me on task. we discuss what i’m doing on the computer. it keeps me focused.

  13. *giving kd lots of love and attention*
    ’cause yanno? you are a blog supah star.. yet you still find the time to comment on lil’ ol me’s blog.. and for that.. you are a rare charm 🙂

  14. i haven’t been commenting much at all lately — hell, i’ve been so busy i have three days newspapers to catch up on. it ain’t easy doing all this stuff just for the attention.

  15. Love looking at your blogging &&& can relate to the only child comments.

    Not only was I an only child, but also an only child of older parents (40 + 41 when I was born …… way back when).

    Also, on the social scale, having suffered all my life with nasal allergies, social interaction was severely disturbed when one girl (we were around 9/10 yrs) refused to sit next to me ….. because I ‘snored’. Hey, get a life!!! I was simply trying to breathe. Then, the “Teacher” who – when I was going for an Interview for Grammar School entrance – told my Mother to “make sure she blows her nose well, before going in”!!!!

    Keep up the good work!


  16. Speaking of hits, I popped my MT cherry today.
    go see!

    I was practically an only child too, to older parents (my mom was 39 when she had me) . My brother and sister were both teenagers when I was born.

  17. yeah, my son’s like that — he has two siblings he hardly ever sees, so he’s just like an only child. but he seems to be a very social child, well, at least he wants to be. i was always more than happy to hang out by myself, reading a book.

  18. You are totally popular with me, kd! I was a second child and youngest (well, had a much older half sister, too – more auntie than sis), and was totally socially retarded. My mother tells me that my nursery school teacher thought I didn’t know how to talk at age 4 – met with my mother out of concern for my well-being. My mother thought she was talking about someone else’s kid….
    It seems to me that (A) there is a high percentage of us blogging who were wierd kids; or (B) everybody feels that they are/were socially unacceptable

  19. my daughter (age 19) is an example of a kid raised more or less as an only child (her brother, 6 years her junior, went to live with his dad at a young age), but who has highly advanced social skills. she has a large circle of friends, many of the same ones she’s had since they were too young to cross the street. she keeps in touch with people. she calls (i know, her cell phone is on my plan.) people who know me know, i never call. i say i’ll call, but i don’t call.

    i’m still trying to learn to interact, how to be a friend. it’s easier to do online, it’s so much easier to email than call. i may not call, but i always anser my email. it’s a start.

  20. My imaginary friend Kate graduated from Berkley. She has a better job than I do and lives in California. Mom likes her best. In fact my mother had her 5th grade class write Kate letters for an assignment once.

    Ok, so now who’s goofy, me or my mom?

  21. Well Timmy was more than just an imaginary friend… he was my older brother as well. And Randi will always be my one true love. I’ve loved her since I first saw her in one of those cheesy little italian paintings (in a harlequin outfit… keep your eyes open at flea markets, I’ll pay anything!!!). I don’t know if I’m still talking to imaginary people, but I sure as hell get caught talking to myself alot…

    Maybe I am talking to them, kd…

  22. i didn’t have any imaginary siblings, but i did have Laura. god, that girl was trouble with a capital T, you know? in stark contrast to the little goody two shoes i was (i was!)

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