how to wake yourself up

note: this is not for the squeamish or faint of stomach.

ok, so you know, you hit that afternoon lull, you settle into that trough, that rut, around 3 or so, earlier if lunch was big. and your thoughts are sluggish and fuzzy, and you have to snap out of it. here’s what you do:

take a can of that aerosol ‘cheese’ (i told you this is not for the squeamish). must be a new can, preferably that has been sitting in your boss’s snack drawer for a matter of weeks, long enough for the contents to settle. with me so far? ok, turn the can over and squeeze some cheese out on your finger (crackers? what are you, a big wussie?). and… POP! air pocket, loud like a bullet. wakes you right up. whoo-hoo! if you have a well-settled can, there should be lots of nice air bubbles, at random intervals. so the audible cheeze-pops wake you up, and the fear of the cheese keeps you alert. what is in this stuff? it’s not cheese. nothing is that color.

this is what i call, livin’ on the edge.

8 thoughts on “how to wake yourself up

  1. I have it in my contract (with myself) that the ONLY way I will eat aerosol “cheese” is if I can lick it off of Keanu’s belly-scar.

  2. all there ever is in the goodie drawer anymore is ritz crackers and scary-cheeze. he used to bring in all manner of goodies that i liked, but i bitched so hard he finally stopped contstantly trying to feed me. about twenty or thirty pounds too late, but better late than never.

    i only resort to the cheeze in moments of desperation.

  3. E-Z Cheez .. I think there’s a movie out there with that stuff eating Boston .. hehe .. The scary part of it is the assorated flavors .. bacon flavored cheez .. There are only a few items in the grocery store that will cause me to recoil in horror .. and E-Z Cheez is one of them 😉 hahaha



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