the banana

i couldn’t do it. but i tried.

i hate to waste food. so when my son didn’t eat his banana this morning, and chris brought it to me at the computer and set it down beside my mousepad, well, i figured, i’d eat the banana. i’m not much of a first thing in the morning eater – usually don’t feel a bit hungry till i actually leave the house, or noon, whichever comes first.

but the banana was already half unpeeled. it would go to waste, if i didn’t eat it. i didn’t eat it right away, i was having coffee, doing this and that, wandering around, and i look over and — the cat is sitting on the banana. well, not on it, but his butt fur is definitely touching the peel. closer inspection reveals no actual cat butt is touching the edible surfaces of the banana, but the proximity is there. the proximity cannot be denied.

i pick up the banana. i inspect it carefully for cat debris. i sniff it. the banana is perfectly good. i sit down on the couch, and take a bite of the banana. and i gag, no, more like retch, and have to spit the piece of banana into a nearby coffee cup.

there was nothing really wrong with the banana. it tasted just like a banana, nothing nasty about it. but i couldn’t do it. this makes no sense, since i’ve been known to eat food i’ve dropped, been doing it all my life, forty-one now and still alive and kicking, nothing wrong with a little floor-food, as long as it’s not hairy or anything. and certainly the cat’s butt makes frequent contact with the floor.

i don’t understand why i couldn’t eat the banana. i comforted myself with the fact that it wasn’t that wasteful not to eat the banana. but i am totally mystified by the triggering of the gag reflex in this circumstance.

20 thoughts on “the banana

  1. I am so glad you through that banana out!
    Does the word “e-coli” ring a bell?
    You could have gotten violently ill, had diarrhea, threw up, winded up in a hospital on a ventilator-unable to speak!
    There, you should feel better about it, ‘eh?
    When in doubt, throw it out!
    (I love cats)

  2. i’m madly in love with it myself. i look at it and i hear the happy little spongebob song, and i just feel so good.

    i love spongebob. i love brandy for making me this coolest of skins.

  3. I did that on sunday…went to burger king (not really hungry, just felt like I should have some sustenance) got a bk broiler burger and brought it home. I examined the burger. Something just didn’t feel right about it. I took a bite and gagged.

    Nothing wrong with the burger at all but the dog got a nice treat while I ate onion rings instead.

  4. oy. it’s been over an hour and i’m still queasy.

    hmm. maybe if i got the cat to sit on more food, i’d actually be able to lose weight…

  5. I think the part of your brain with the more sane aspects was trying to tell you”NO NO NO NO NO! Do NOT do that!” That’s about as subtle as the ol brain gets – it rarely leaves notes. Of course, this is all from the perspective of my brain workings so….maybe you should just ignore all this! Heh.

  6. LOL…

    You can’t even SAY banana around my sister. Unless you want her to throw up on your shoes.

    I was at a party Saturday night. This gal Shelley was eating a finger sandwich, found a hair in it ( i think it was hers lol ) and got violently ill. Nothing like some good ol pukin’ to ruin the mood of about 20 party goers!!!

  7. I think you’ve got a plan, there, kd. Rub cat ass on everything and you will no longer have the urge to eat any food. Hey!!

    You know, I have a cat-adversion as well. The thought of specks of litter in my food is enough to make me ill.

  8. Maybe you knew that if you bit the banana a mosquito would later be more inclined to bite you than, say, your non-banana-biting friend.

    Unless that friend was blonde. We are the favorite snack of mosquitodom.

  9. so, would that also apply to fleas? would that maybe be why my banana eating son gets chewed up mercilessly by the little beasts, while i go unbitten?

  10. I eat food I drop on the floor, unless it’s too hairy, but I think I would draw the line facing a butt-banana ;o]

  11. Just say no to the butt-banana ..

    *wipes tears from eyes* Butt (hehe) this did give me a very good chuckle this morning … thanks 😉


  12. LOL I agree that the proximity cannot be denied. I would have trashed it, too. Not that I would have eaten a banana to begin with. The texture is gag-inducing on its own, minus the cat butt.

  13. Your brain and the gag reflex is a very funny thing. Many years ago, I wasn’t wearing my glasses, and bought a sandwich from a vending machine. I took a couple of bites, and didn’t recognize the flavour, but it wasn’t awful or anything.

    Finally, curiosity got the better of me, and I put on the glasses. Reading the label on the cellophane, I realized I was eating a ham sandwich (not allowed in my religion).

    Instant puke reflex. Still can’t understand it, but KNOWING what I had eaten was enough to send my entire body into convulsions.

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