kitty: hack hack hack urp urp hack
him: [rushes into room] it’s that cheap food you’ve been buying him!
me: no, it’s bugs**.
him: no, my mom always bought him the name brand food.
me: safeway select is just as good. it’s bugs.
him: [indicating cat puke on floor] that’s just his food!
me: [getting down close and pointing at points of interest in the puke] see? bug bug bug *wing* bug…
him: [looking more closely] ok, you’re right.
me: i’ve been buying him whatever’s on sale for months and months, and he never puked then, and…
him: i said you’re right, ok?
· · ·
that’s right. i’m right. get used to it.
Good kitty!
Beauregard likes us to hunt bugs *with* him – we herd them into corners and he leaps, paws, munches. It’s so cute when they chew them up. But then he wants to kiss me. Ew.
And yeah, most canned cat foods are made by one of three big conglomerate kitty food makers, with empires full of labels. Him should know better than to question Thee.
Heh – I enjoy hearing it so much, I’ll admit to making J. repeat himself: “What’s that? I’m what?” Our cat eats nothing but food, so he doen’t have nearly as good a reason to puke – but he does it anyway.
kitty pukes every night during the month of june. it’s like a routine. after an evening’s brave bug-hunting, he knocks on the door. i let him in, he lays down, half hour later it’s hork! hork! hork! and up come the junebugs. there’s more bugs in the puke than food — he’s a skilled and fierce june-bug hunter. he just has a really delicate tummy.
Just think, by day your kitty is a domesticated lap animal who is content to lay around and look cute, by night the kitty is a much-feared anti-bug warrior who relentlessly patrols your property and keeps you safe from marauding Junebugs.
He deserves praise and honor for being such a skilled and ruthless little bugcatcher.
you know, he really does. we never see the junebugs except in the catpuke, so they’re obviously out there fleeing in terror from our brave kitty-man.
maybe i’ll stop on the way home and get him a catnip mouse or something. such a good kitty.
OMG I am rolling!
Thanks KD, I needed this! 
You mean he still hasn’t figured that you’re always right?!
Hello, that is hilarious! We have 3 cats in the house and I can truly empathize over cat puke humor! Thanks for the lift!
shocking, i know. but true.
“it’s that cheap food you’ve been buying him!”
Boy that part – you’ve been – just hops out at me. That’s the kinda thing that immediately pisses me off – oh yeah, right, I forced the cat to barf, right sure.
After a comment like that he’d better tell you you’re right several times. Humph.
Also the word “hork” is EXACTLY what they say. Bleh. But again, right you are!
I savor and cherish those three words: “you are right” because Mr. know it all (I won’t mention any names) is very stingy with them. I can usually tell by the silence when I’m ESPECIALLY right, though.
Know what? A good friend of ours eats June bugs. for real. While they’re still alive! yes indeed.
ewwww
a … human friend? they should go on fear factor, if bugeating is a hobby for them.
*barf*
I mean, you are constantly reinforcing the concept, -neh?
hey, i try. it’s such a terrible burden, having to always be right about stuff. *sigh*
i think *hork* would be more apropos in this context, don’t you think? here, allow me…*HORK*
my god, who is this person who eats LIVE JUNE BUGS?!