it’s different here

sometimes, it’s just confusing. there are people called Bill and Bob who are really ladies (and in this case, both named Susan or thereabouts). and there are men named Stacey and Kaydee (the latter of which may be very commonly a man’s name in Germany, i don’t know that much, but i know i did think he was a she for at least some period of time). and then you have me, kd, rather androgenous — i’ve been called a guy a couple times, which (since Kitty prompted me to make an about page), just means somebody didn’t read the page before deciding.

and you know, without reading the about pages or any other identifying blurbs, it’s really not easy to figure out who’s what. you could go read Bill talking about her passion for computer gaming and assume, male geek, or you could read Stacey posting about where to find shoes (yes, straight men do look for shoes), and you could get confused.

i like it. i’m thrilled that gender roles are less confining, and that you can ‘meet’ people through their weblogs and not be immediately able to discern those things you’d be struck by, in person. most people don’t have pictures of themselves on the very first page — and it gives you time to get to know them, words first, from the inside. i like doing that.

for instance, the first time i read Melly i had no idea she was a tall gorgeous redheaded hottie with legs up to there. i just thought she was funny and brilliant. she could have been a typing shrimp, and i’d have admired her words first, other stuff later.

i also like the internet because i can be, you know, matronly, and have that not be the first thing people see of me.

i’m not sure where i’m going with this? but i like it here. i like it that blogs tend to present life from the inside out, rather than the other way around.

20 thoughts on “it’s different here

  1. Oh, the names thing on the net is fun. And I’m so bad at guessing what people look like, etc. Bob the Corgi had me going for ahile, before I started reading her blog. I thought Bob the Corgi was, well, a GUY. Heh.

    Now, see, Kaydee: He has a pic right on his site, so my confusion was minimal. And I just assumed, for some reason, that kaydee is a play on his initials. I could be wildly wrong, though. 🙂

    Maybe I’ll switch gears at some point and use one of my nicknames (Jane to the adults in my family, DeeDee to the kiddles) and see if it changes anyone’s perception. Hee.

  2. actually, i saw Kaydee around mostly in comments sections before i saw his blog, and it took me awhile to adjust my perceptions. the picture did help, but i think there was a design before that, that confused me? i remember being confused.

  3. Agree with you kd. Maybe one of these days I will post a photo of myself on the net. I do like chatting with people on their blogs, it seems to me that what they post, are true reflections of their personalities, and though a photo may say a thousand words, it is no indication as to how a blogger (person) will react to certain types of comments. What I need to do is to visit more blogs than I do at present. I have truly started enjoying this stuff, and have to thank Mad Bull, my friend for getting me involved cause I was reluctant at first. One of my biggest problems, is that it can be difficult to keep readers entertained, though it may not be important to some, I like comments and if the post is boring, they log on, read and sigh, and then logout. Do you have similar experiences?

  4. My mom was new to the country and didn’t know much English when she named me. It makes for fun with telemarketers though. They ask if I’m Stacey, I say yes, they (confusedly) go through their sales pitch while I’m watching tv. After about 5 minutes I ask them if I sound like a Stacey. They then apologize and hang up.

    A lot of the pictures on my website have my girlfriend Heather in them. People automatically assume I (Stacey) am her. Therefore, for whatever reason, I get all kinds of letters from horny guys and lesbians! One lady offered me/Heather a weekend in Toronto! When I explained the situation, but said I might still be interested in a trip to Canada, I never heard back…

  5. I’ve been mistaken for a guy once or twice. But never on the Net.
    bwah! I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I jest.

    I know what you mean, kd. I like it here, too.

  6. I always find myself judging people by how they react to me when they meet me as “Bill”. Usually, people who can’t deal with it (and I’ve had people *insist* on knowing a female name to call me) are pretty closed-minded in other areas too and thus of no interest to me whatsoever.
    It makes for a great mini-personality quiz in that crucial first ten seconds of acquaintance. 😀

    A name is just a label. It has only environmental significance, and enviroments vary widely from place to place and person to person.

  7. actually, that’s a rather good litmus test right there – can people get beyond that initial impression? do they have to have boy labels on boy people, and girl labels on girls? if so what is their problem?

    maybe they were traumatized in a chatroom once by a fourteen year old girl that claimed to be a 42 year old virgin chatting from his mother’s basement in a stained t-shirt and tighty-whities. or something like that. you know.

  8. For some reason it’s usually women in their forties and over that get upset. Only one man has ever been noticeably uncomfortable with it… make of that what you will.

  9. As long as people turn out to be as nice as I originally think they are, I don’t care if they’re purple striped hermaphrodites, really.

  10. I didn’t say all women in their forties, silly. 😛
    Purple strioes would be cool, but then you could never wear green polka dots.

  11. i could see that outfit working. the whole, no green with purple, no stripes with polka dots is so … restrictive.

  12. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, kd you are without a doubt the hippest coolest mom in the world.

    Plus I really really doubt that you have to go running to your kids when you have a computer problem.

  13. Hmm. My comment didn’t show and my browser won’t keep the sponge bob layout for some reason … it worked before!

  14. *sigh* browsers drive me just nutty. i’m sorry. i haven’t changed anything, really.

    *additional, very heavy sigh*

  15. you’re so right: it was until april this year that (some) people thought i’m a girl… it stopped after i redesigned and came up with pics on the frontpage! hehe!

    and: yes, straight men do look for shoes!

  16. I’ve caused people confusion as I’ve used the nick “revolution” (or some variation on that theme) for years on web pages, chat rooms, etc. People usually assume that I’m a guy. Why “revolution” indicates maleness in people’s minds I’ll never know, unless it’s because it’s not a nick like “SugarBabykins” or “HottSexxy69.” *shrug* But I like the androgyny of my nick.

    One of my best blogging buddies is a guy whose first name is Ashley. I always thought of “Stacey” as falling into the category of “Cameron,” “Tracy,” “Jesse,” “Jamie,” “Pat,” and “Chris,” really names that could be either.

    Not that it matters in the least. I, too, enjoy the fact that you get to know people from the inside through the ‘net, bringing the outside down to the level of irrelevance that it should have in the real world.

  17. A rose is a rose is a rose…

    Actually, I grew up with a very feminine name and chose my boy-ish moniker of Noah Mallory because it was so opposite and gave me a bit anonymity.

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