the review

well. the good news is, they like me, they really like me. the bad news is, they can’t afford me. oh, they like having me around, my clients (when i have them) love me, and i build nice websites, this is certain, and they can afford to keep me there, at my current salary which is horribly inadequate and well below my skill level. the good news is they are willing to be very supportive if i want to work part time elsewhere, ease into another job; they’ll give me great references. the bad news is, i don’t wanna leave.

they put up with me. i work from when i get there till when i leave (uhm, dependability would have been my lowest mark on the review, but still, that’s ok with them). i don’t have to dress for work, basic jammies are fine, and if my car ever died i could still get there in minutes on a bus that goes right from my house to work.

i’ve been there the longest of any job in my life, or pretty close to that. by this time in any job i’m the company’s pet weirdo, after my usual stellar start my true self in all its idiosyncratic glory has come out, and it’s time to go. well, they still want me around. but they feel guilty i can’t afford to live.

oh well. i think it’s better to have a job i’m pretty sure i’m still going to have, month after month, than go risk it somewhere where i might end up out of work. the last time i made a move for money, i regretted it for … well i still regret it.

anyway, does anybody know of an opening for a badly dressed, fuzzy-haired web site making person that usually shows up for work eventually?

didn’t think so.

18 thoughts on “the review

  1. aw man kd, i’m sorry to hear this. i know how it feels to be but i’m sure with your skills, you’ll get something great soon.

  2. no, i still have the job. it just won’t be paying me enough money to live on. i *should* be looking for another job, if i wasn’t spoiled rotten to the mellow environment.

    but i am so spoiled.

  3. Unless it is a matter of living without food, keep the job, kd. Like you, I’ve left for more money and have lived to regret it everytime. Money isn’t everything, and don’t let society make you feel like it is. Your son is taken care, you appear to be well fed. You’ll make it and the pay off could come later. Of course, this is just my humble opinion. 🙂

  4. And does my comment above give one the impression I’ve had a few too many? lol … Add an “of” to the “son” sentence and the well fed part was not implying anything other than you are beautiful, healthy woman. Please forgive my rambling now. I’m taking my socially inept self back to the hole where I live.

  5. you’re absolutely right, Lee. more money does not equal success. having a job you can keep, feel comfortable at, bitch moan and whine when you need to, and play on the internet when it’s slow and call that ‘research’ — priceless.

  6. KD – it sounds like working a part-time business from home is what you need. Why not start a side line web design/consulting business? The tax advantages are wonderful, you’d be doing something you like, and it may just progress to where you can quit your full time job altogether.

  7. Tess, you are so right. i network in that direction, and shall network some more, because i am so not a person that fits in with the 9 to 5ers.

    however i think i’ll need to get a few decent outfits and business cards and stuff. i used to have these things, but i got fat and my printer broke.

    i’ll manage, somehow. and in the meantime, i do dig my underpaid job. it’s so mellow.

  8. You refer to starting out being an outstanding employee, and then gradually the quirks come out. Kd, I can relate to that so pathetically perfectly.

    When starting a job I always do fabulous, usually get in tight quick with the big wigs, and I really really try to keep my mouth shut. After a couple of years though my employer and I usually come to a mutual decision that we are better off without each other. I start to feel at home at a job, and something inside me starts spouting anti-capitalist rhetoric, denouncing the older more conservative people I work with, and generally doing everything I can to fight the system. The system always wins.

  9. “…badly dressed, fuzzy-haired web site making person that usually shows up for work eventually”

    That would look great on a resume, no?

  10. it’s like any relationship. you know, you start out on your best behavior. you are considerate. you don’t burp, or fart. you shave your legs (if you are a girl. or just like doing that).

    then you get comfy, and you become yourself, a little too relaxed.

    well, if they still like me after three years, that’s a sign i should continue to like them. it’s like if you married somebody thinking they’d get rich, and found out they were nice anyway.


  11. oh, say-say. yes, yes it would.

    i’d love to submit a resume like that somewhere, just for fun. somewhere i didn’t care about getting the job.

    oh god, and what if they hired me?

  12. “…badly dressed, fuzzy-haired web site making person that usually shows up for work eventually”

    but but but… that’s what i wanna be someday…

    let’s make business cards: Hire Me! I’m a badly dressed, fuzzy-haired web site making person that usually shows up for work eventually… and DAMN i’m good!

  13. Bummer, KD. I agree, you should try the sideline thing. With your skills and the fact that you’re well known online, that could really take off for you.

  14. But to put the positive spin on it – you’re in the best situation to job hunt. Your job isn’t going anywhere, and they’re ok with you looking – so, there’s no pressure – you can look when you can get motivated (yeah, that’s the hellish part, I’m bad at motivating myself) – but there’s no frantic “I must get work NOW or I can’t pay bills” out-of-work stress thing going on. And you don’t have to hide the fact that you’re looking for another job with doctor’s visits or sick days or anything.

    But it would have thrown me for a loop too – to be told that.
    But it’s 3 days to get through and then it’s Friday! And you obviously deserve a good, relaxing weekend.

  15. heck, i got the printer free, it just lacks ink. you can damn well almost get a whole printer for the price of ink these days.

    and i’m too fat to look for a job. just let my fat ass go to work whenever, in its jammies, and the ass will be a happy fat ass. really.

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