ok, so that candy? on the receptionist’s desk? well, it’s out there on its own, we’ve been receptionistless for some time now. so there it sits. unattended. but i have to walk down the hall to get the candy. either i go lots of times, and i do mean a lots, or, well, i have to get a bunch of the iddy-biddy candies at a time.
fine. who wants to look like a fat pig? bad enough i have the fat part going on. let’s not have people looking at me and going, ok, well that explains it. oh hush. i am too. that’s not up for debate at this point, alright?
so i resort to behavior that feels almost criminal. lift candy jar lid with right hand, holding lid so it shields left hand digging amongst the dum-dum pops for the desired snicker-ettes. collect 4-5 candies, slip all but one unobtrusively in a pocket, and walk back down the hall, obtrusively eating the one i haven’t hidden. arrive at desk and surreptitiously slip the pocketed candies into my desk drawer, then take them out and eat them, one by one, half by half. finish one batch, hesitate, realize what am i waiting for, get more, repeat.
ooo, you’re so bad! [like i haven't done exactly the same thing several hundred times.] so how were the snickers?
their chocolatey goodness prevented much mass PMS-induced mayhem.
OMG, dum-dum pops? See if there are any of the buttered popcorn flavored ones. They’re DEE-LISH.
bwhaaaahahahaha
Maybe you can take all the candy, remove it from the wrappers, and replace the candy with marbles that you stole from one of your kids. Nobody will be on to you then. Listen carefully for the sound of teeth breaking.
I’m not evil, really…
Miniature candy bars SUCK like that. I can NEVER buy them, because I’ll keep munching on them until the whole bag is gone. You think, oh, it’s just a tiny little piece of chocolate, what harm can it do? But then you’ve eaten the whole bag and it’s like 100,000 calories. LOL
i think i ended up eating about 20 or 22 of them or something. i wonder how many actual-size candy bars that is?
mmmmmm … snickers
Once upon a time I was the receptionist in charge of buying the candy. I got a 2 hr lunch break and I got to go to this great candy store in Little Italy in Boston to get the best mix of candy for the cheapest price. Ah, those were the days… And since I kept the candy dish, it was near me, and no one knew exactly how many I snagged…
Hey, in that kinda job you need all the perks you can get!
Here’s the only thing wrong with this post: It’s fine if you want to give away your sneaky candy obtaining techniques, but it’s not so fine when you inadvertently give away information that could lead to the questioning of the rest of us while we are engaged in candy stealing activities. Take it all back!!
it’s not stealing. gluttony, maybe, but receptionist candy is fair game. in the public domain, free for the taking. to the bold go the snickers bars! to the rest, well, they get the generic sweet tarts and the dum-dum pops (though i will have to check for a butter popcorn flavor — i bet we have nothing that interesting)
Jen is absolutely right; frozen Snickers bars are scrumptious.
unless you have bad teeth. and then, they just *hurt*.
“i think i ended up eating about 20 or 22 of them or something. i wonder how many actual-size candy bars that is?”
Hmmm… I think thats about 4.725 bars… Look at it this way, once you’ve finished them all, they won’t be there to tempt you, right. This is a good thing. You’re putting others out of temptations way.
Yeah, MB?s right on this.
By eating these sweets you?re doing a *major* service to the rest of the office. I just don?t think they know how lucky they are to have you
Have a look.
She?s not there, right?
Time to grab another handfull.
missx is right. it’s a tough job, but…
Suddenly, I’m craving chocolate….!
Oh, and kd: get some of those mini snickers, and put ‘em in the freezer at home. Mmmmmmm. Frozen snickers bites. So good.
You know…you gotta reward yourself somehow!
enablers! all of you!
i just hope there’s some left today.
haha! that was funny!