when inaction has utterly horrifying consequences

so. i got home. and i had no internet. why? well. i lose things. like ATM cards. so i ordered a new one, which i also promptly lost. and all those electronic debits? every single one bitched at me except direct DSL.

i meant to call and give them the new number (i have the paper the card came on, so i have the number, that’s all). i really meant to call them.

so i had no internet. i laid on the couch feeling this odd tightening in my chest cavity, this strange and entirely unpleasant spinning in my head. and i came up with a plan.

first, find the modem. where is it? oh, there it is. untangle it from the phone, palm cradle, two phone cords (1 50′ in length) and some other crap. plug it in. and … brace yourself … pluck a cd from my AOL CD collection, install AOL, and … *sob* get on the internet on an ancient windows box with a 14″ monitor on a 45333 connection. on AOL.

i don’t know if i can get to my outlook express yet so i seem to have an AOL address, if you need to mail me. it would be kdblog at aol dot com. i think. how would i know? this is a fucking nightmare.

but at least i’m online.

22 thoughts on “when inaction has utterly horrifying consequences

  1. and it’s really slow.

    oh, i know, serves me right, serves me right. i forget to change my debit card info and i land right smack dab in dialup AOL Hell.

    oh god. this sucks so much ass.

  2. AOL??? AOL is like a virus. Somehow my long-distance phone bill got transferred to AOL long distance, somehow I got AIM programs on my computer, and now I get 100 discs a week. AOL is more contagious then the common cold.

    It’s sure a good thing this happened after the Blogathon though…

  3. oh great. now i’m terrified. my phone bill will get messed up and my windows box will never again see the DSL line and all is lost.

    oh man.

    but i do like to collect AOL cds though. i’m fine with getting lotsa those.

  4. Oh damn, that does suck mightily.
    *restrains self from bitching about her own 24000 connection, as kd is suffering and that would be rude*
    How long til you’re set free?
    And I collect AOL cds too! Someday I’ll figure out what to do with them all… But I keep thinking someday I’ll find something to do with them – besides coasters, you know?

  5. i’m in the IM with VASpider and we’ve hatched plans for much AOL CD fun. like, a meme where people mutilate AOL CDs and make art, and post pictures. something like that.

    what happens if you microwave CDs that are all tilted up against each other in a clever way? does the microwave catch fire, or do things just get interesting?

  6. Ok, this is goofy but I actually found a web site once where they showed how to make a mosaic gazing ball out of cds. They didn’t say they were AOL ones, but still – and it looked really groovy. I was thinking of hanging a lot of mine from the ceiling in my office…

    I’m afraid of the microwave idea. We need to find someone adventurous and unafraid to try that one… And someone that doesn’t care about their microwave!

  7. Ya’ know, talk about makin’ lemonade…

    Hey, can I have my ‘pile-o-wire’ back now?

    On top as always, your’e rockin’, chica!

  8. there were also two cat5 cables, a USB cable, and … other stuff in that pile. my son took a picture of me untangling, but it takes too damn long to upload these things. maybe later.

    didja know my worst job ever was untangling wet used phone cords, and sorting them by size and number of bumps (wire twists) while standing on a concrete floor in a hot warehouse making minimum wage and having bells ring to signify very limited breaktimes and lunchtime?

    the quota was something like 700 cords of various lengths (including cut ones, if there were too many bumps) a day? and i lasted three entire months? in the summertime? and it was hot in that warehouse?

  9. “didja know my worst job ever was untangling wet used phone cords, and sorting them by size and number of bumps (wire twists) while standing on a concrete floor in a hot warehouse making minimum wage and having bells ring to signify very limited breaktimes and lunchtime?”

    *whimper*
    This is definitely going to be food for my nightmares…

  10. i had these callouses on my thumbs from, when you’re pulling at the cord and you reach the part with the plug thingy? with wet hands (they washed them in souped up washing machines first).

    one time, (this did not happen to me but i heard the scream) a cockroach crawled up a girl’s pantleg. the place was a righteous dump.

    but it was a job. and a job i needed to not be kicked out of my parents house. these things happen.

    stay in school, kids!! stay there!! trust me!!

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