xkot: hey what’s that cheap poweder that kills bugs? borax or something?
kd: yep. but it’s not that cheap.
xkot: the crack under my back door is so big that i see bugs just waltzing in
matt: Ground up human femur?
kd: what kinda bugs?
xkot: if it wasn’t a door i’d glue it shut
xkot: big-ass florida palmetto bugs
matt: Pour bleach on it.
kd: flying cockroaches the size of small dogs you mean?
xkot: i can’t take it any more
kd: bleach is good
matt: Make friends with them.
kd: give them names!
matt: They’ll shelter you in case of Atomic Holocaust
xkot: so the bleach works after it has dried?
matt: You can be their king in the world they build after the fallout.
kd: mmm. well, it would repel them as long as the bleach smell remains
matt: The smell will usually put them off.
xkot: no way… the other night I was sitting on the couch in the dark and one flew by my face. i nearly ran out of the house screaming
kd: so if you’re happy gassing yourself with chlorine, it’s fine
xkot: cool i’ll try the bleach thing
matt: Or you could get a cat
kd: i love the smell of clorox
xkot: fortunately the outside ones don’t really move inside, they just visit now and then
matt: Cats will happily eat bugs
xkot: i’m allergic
kd: so was i. i’m fine now
matt: A chihuahua?
xkot: though i have thought about getting some lizards
matt: Get lizards! Many lizards!
xkot: someone told me you can release certain lizards in your house and you will never have bugs again
matt: You will, however, have lizards.
xkot: like you buy 2 of some breed
kd: beware lizard shit
matt: Some might not consider that a good trade.
xkot: yeah, salmonella i bet
kd: salmonella city
matt: “Shit, now I gotta get snakes”
matt: “And then I have to get a mongoose”
xkot: i want a plastic bubble like travolta had
matt: “Fuck, now I need a wolverine to keep the mongoose population in check.”
kd: monkeys! everybody likes monkeys!
kd: are we reinacting a simpsons episode?
xkot: i need a bathroom monkey
matt: “Which means I now need an NRA roommate to control the wolverine…”
kd: why, xkot, why?
xkot: to clean
xkot “MONKEY HATE CLEAN!”
kd: not you, just the bathroom, right?
xkot: they could groom me
xkot: I’m pretty hairy
kd: oh no
xkot: they would accept me as a member of the tribe
matt: “And then I’m going to need Brady to control the NRA members in case they spread…”
matt: It never fucking ends.