chris often tells me i am yelling at him. when i am in fact not yelling. and he’s not the only one, my daughter and my boss tell me the same thing. and my initial response is always to insist i’m not yelling, but yelling is more in the ear of the beholder, if you think about it. and people get stressed when they percieve that i’m yelling, and so they don’t hear my words, they react to my tone. so i’ve learned to temper my voice, because apparently i’ve listened to too much loud music and i’m slightly hard of hearing. it doesn’t seem like yelling to me. however, i now make an effort to lower my voice. and it takes conscious thought, to overcome this natural tendency towards loudness.
the point is, that i want to be listened to, rather than reacted to.