it is, after all, all about me

and this was autobiographical in 1997, certainly not now. i’m going to start posting a few of these things here and there. or maybe just this one. it/they may or may not suck.

of myth & women (of me, i mean)

the goddess of mistaken identity
invented the mirror
claimed it gave her
clarity
focus
perspective
•••
she lied
•••
but her beauty
is new
& it is
her own only
truth
•••
she is sleek glossy
pale preoccupied fearful &
not free
•••
victim
princess
sorceress
nemesis
albatross
bitch
•••
companion burden
scapegoat misfit
instigator martyr
•••
a sacrificial visionary & a
danger to society in spite of her
relatively infinite insignificance
•••
she is cynical habitual
illogical indifferent inconsistent
& believes exclusively in
impossibility
•••
she begins
her soliloquy
as if it matters,
impassioned:
•••
“there are
seven circles”,
she cries,
“which one
is this?”
•••
she is unanswered ranting
reclusive obsessive impulsive
hysterical lyrical
•••
her precarious stance & her
stubborn ambivalence are her
only sources of continuity &/or stability
& amidst all of this
deliberate nonsense, her
survival is evidently
unintentional & any
appearance of
wholeness is
purely physical
•••
her body is
an open book
& any man
of letters
or science
or fiction
may know her biblically
wicked hunger
(an addiction)
•••
fallen woman
with & without
child, wounded &
wanton & haunted &
hunted
wild
•••
inside is
the outlaw,
a criminal in her
element
desperate reckless
beguiling & sly
•••
she offers an excess of
complexity so she can be
misunderstood &
as a result remain
alone unknown & as such
much maligned
•••
always also she is
malingering in
love in the
inane & profound
isolation in which
she is sovereign
abandoned profane serene &
substantially less than
sane
•••
she performs portrays
pretends poses &
plays her part gamely &
then
in an uncharacteristic outburst of
extemporaneous honesty
reveals herself as
the villainess of
this piece,
•••
a paradox:
•••
she is, she says,
no goddess
•••
she is, she confesses,
just the mistress
of misogyny
•••

-kdkelly
17MAR97