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Bush Seeks U.N. Support For ‘U.S. Does Whatever It Wants’ Plan

By lizard on October 2, 2002

“As a shining beacon of freedom and democracy, America has inspired the world,” said Bush in his 25-minute address. “With its military might, it has kept the peace and bravely defended the unalienable [sic] rights of millions around the globe. In this spirit, I call upon the world’s nations to support my proposal to give America unrestricted carte blanche to remove whatever leaders, plunder whatever resources, and impose whatever policies it deems necessary or expedient.”

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8 responses to “Bush Seeks U.N. Support For ‘U.S. Does Whatever It Wants’ Plan”

  1. skits
    skits
    October 2, 2002 at 4:12 am |

    hee. I love the Onion.

  2. wKen
    wKen
    October 2, 2002 at 4:21 am |

    It’s so close to the truth that it almost seems more sad than funny.

  3. kd
    kd
    October 2, 2002 at 4:37 am |

    the onion is often that way.

    “Global reaction to Bush’s plan has been mixed, with 56 percent of Americans in support and 100 percent of non-Americans strongly opposed.”

  4. Kelly
    Kelly
    October 2, 2002 at 8:56 am |

    HA! That was great but frighteningly close to the truth.

  5. Pax Nortona
    Pax Nortona
    October 2, 2002 at 10:37 am |

    I do not support this adventure, regardless

    The blame for the evil that this adventure is sure to bring rests on its promoters. I am prepared to forgive, but they shall still be held accountable. I shall strive to see them removed and forever prevented from holding office in our future nation …

  6. Dr. D.
    Dr. D.
    October 3, 2002 at 5:44 am |

    Hmph! That’s about all I will say.

  7. Toxiclabrat
    Toxiclabrat
    October 3, 2002 at 8:10 am |

    “After all, this is the gut who tried to kill my dad.”-George W. Bush

  8. kd
    kd
    October 3, 2002 at 9:54 am |

    omg. did he really say that?

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