it was my first time, honest

so, yesterday, i couldn’t get into the dentist’s parking lot the first time because, being in the correct side of the driveway with a car also going out, there was no way in hell to turn into the parking lot. why? because a verylarge pickup truck had parked in what used to be a space, but wasn’t a space anymore (white lines painted over pavement color, obvious new white lines and little end-bumpers now marking the *real* parking spots). i drove around the block and re-entered with no other cars coming so i could swing the turn.

i was in less than a good mood, even before that.

i took the small notebook from my purse, and wrote in rather angry handwriting, this is NOT a parking space YOU IDIOT. i tore the page off, got out of the car, glancing around furitively to make sure no one was approaching who might be the owner (yes i’m a chickenshit), and placed the note under the wiper blade of the truck.

walked in the dentist’s office feeling all tingly. yeah, it was a good first time.

13 thoughts on “it was my first time, honest

  1. see, there needs to be a little form, looking sorta like a parking ticket, with checkboxes of offenses, like “taking up two spaces like the scum that you are” or that “leave a can opener” line or even “that is NOT a space YOU IDIOT”. also something about blocking things in, all that. they should be cuttingly witty little descriptions of offenses.

    multiple choice parking ticket notepad thingy. should be one in every glovebox.

  2. Look up “anti-SUV parking sticker campaigns” and see what you get; I’ve been hearing about people who go around lots slapping these things onto those vehicles. The stickers say something like “you selfish gas-guzzling hog, etc.”

  3. oh no no no not those — those are basically for vandals that go around scolding people for their car choices, with bumper stickers. kind of like the ‘you’re fueling terrorism’ stickers. no, no, no.

    i just want to go after inconsiderate parkers. not SUVs in general, though i don’t like them, neither do i feel moved to deface them with stickers.

    but if they park in two spaces, well, that’s different. still, i’m only talking about a piece of paper under the wiper blade.

  4. Oh! I was thinking about this again while driving home from work a little while ago. I live in Fairfield County, CT, where a lot of supa-rich people live (I’m not, but I wish I was, but that’s beside the point). A lot of them drive fancy-schmancy cars like Jaguars and whatnot, and while that’s fine, I always see people that park diagonally across two spaces so that people won’t bump their doors into the side of their car. I GET SO ANGRY WHEN I SEE THAT! It’s a car. If you drive it, chances are there will be dings & scratches. And if you’re that paranoid about people bumping you car, park at the back of the lot where no one else is so that you don’t get hit. How dare you think that you’re so important that you derseve two spaces?

    That said, I was still really mad when I saw my first dent in my Corrola from someone smacking their door into my car. That’s really inconsiderate too.

    Aaaarugh people make me mad!!

  5. Perfect examples of road rage….
    And all justified I might add!
    My thing are the people that drive SUVs and fancy smancy cars and talk on the phone and beep their horn at you all at the same time.
    Everyone is in a rush nowadays…

  6. that taking up two parking spaces thing makes me want to key the hell out of the car, just to ‘break it in’ so they can start parking it like the rest of us. ARROGANT ASSHOLES!


  7. The one and only time I’ve written and left a note like this, it was worded, “Learn to park, ASSHOLE!!!”

    And yeah, boy, did it feel GOOD.

  8. i’m usually tingly from the novacaine….but, tingly from a good redemption for stupidity, sounds like so much more fun!

    note to self: carry little notebook in purse.

  9. Ooooh, I did that once, about 5 years ago. I was parked at school, and some loser (in a HUGE pickup truck) had parked so close to mine that I couldn’t open my driver’s side door enough to even get my hand in. Before climbing in on the passenger’s side, I wrote a note that went something like, “Not all people are as skinny as a twig, and if you f**king park that close to me again, I promise you, I’ll s**t on your windshield. Do not doubt my sincerity! You are a selfish bastard, and you do not deserve to park next to me.”

    That felt good.

  10. i just went wandering around google looking for printable PDF fake parking tickets — i know i’ve seen these before. i’m sure i’ve seen these before, but can’t find them now.

    i can’t find anything today!

  11. I’m glad no one in this apartment knows me well enough to know my handwritting. I’ve written enough letters like “Not your parking spot, fucknut!”, and “Could you stick your ass further out into the driveway? This way we don’t have to aim for your bumper, jackass.” Mind you, most of the twits who cause me to grab the pen and the notepad are big trucks, which short little ol me has to climb to get to their windshield. As of late, I’ve become fancier. I prewrote out a few of them, with bright red ink and yellow highlighter… Now I’m prepaired for them 🙂

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