there really is a vast right wing conspiracy

well, perhaps not that vast. i’m talking local, really. but there is definitely a rich, right wing, old boy network, pillar of the community, founding father kind of conspiracy, right here in the poinsettia city.

it’s not that i ever thought that people were treated equally regardless of race, creed, color, or socioeconomic status. but i really thought that drunk driving was one of those universal evils that law enforcement would enforce more evenly.

however, there are people in this town, ok, men, alright, rich white men. old rich white men are what’s wrong with just about everything, but i digress. these are the kind of old white rich men who bring their fast expensive shiny cars to the local car wash, where they are known and valued customers. the thing is, they’re often drunk. and the other thing is, they’re never worried about it. why is this? well, if they get pulled over and haven’t done anything heinous, just a little failure to yield or a maybe a wee bit of weaving here or there, what they get is a stern tsk-tsk-ing and a ride home to thier palatial estate on the hill. it’s a handshake wink-wink nudge-nudge type of deal. they buy breath mints by the case and do a couple drops, and it mixes with the alcohol for a truly nuclear mintyness.

they’re old powerful white males who reek of classy booze and old money. and breath mints.

isn’t that lovely?

10 responses to “there really is a vast right wing conspiracy”

  1. Linkmeister

    First, what brought this on? Then, is Ventura really called the Poinsettia City?

  2. kd

    first, this is something that chris was telling me tonight, because he is now management at the car wash, and privy to at least a glimpse of the old boy network at work. we may never be members ourselves, but we know people who are. and they do this.

    secondly, yes, it is. it’s like a city nickname or somesuch.

  3. Da Goddess

    “they’re old powerful white males who reek of classy booze and old money”

    Lovely.

    Love that money buys you just about anything…including immunity from DUIs, prosecution for just about everything, stupidity….or getting CALLED on the stupidity…..

  4. kd

    and we have the best justice system money can buy, right? of course we also have the hightest per-capita prison population of the developed world, but hey, it’s just poor folks.

    the landed gentry have always experienced a different world than the rest of us. it’s just human nature.

  5. Linkmeister

    “The rich are different from you and me.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

    Don’t hold me to it, but it almost has to be from Gatsby.

  6. Jen

    We have a similar ‘old boy’ network out here, kd. But they’re liberal democrats, not remotely right wing. Right or left, it’s irritating as hell.

  7. Ezrael

    It was Fitzgerald. And Hemingway’s response was “Yes. They have more money.”

  8. kd

    ventura county is rather an anomaly in southern california — when i do online polls, the results will show california as vastly liberal and my zip code waaaaay on the other end. it’s weird.

  9. bobbyg

    i bet those old men have huge bulbous heads and big ol floppy ears, too huh

  10. Jason

    perhaps its the vast white ding-a-ling conspiracy.

    but I doubt their wives call them “vast” in bed.

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