this one’s for the fat girls

sadly enough, someone left a vicious comment on Robyn‘s blog, in regards to the pictures she posted a little while ago, of a gathering of good friends. the commenter had this little gem to say: “your friends are fat and my friend should be embarassed that he sat naked in the same hot tub with them at your house”.

and you know? i specifically remember seeing those pictures. i remember being struck by how relaxed and carefree everyone was about not being built like stick-models, and they weren’t hiding underneath layer upon layer of clothing, or diving behind furniture like i do when a camera’s about to catch me. it was an inspiration to me that it’s possible to accept yourself (and others) for who we really are.

i have to say that i feel pity for the shriveled-up soulless wretch that left the comment. what must it be like to live with that much venom in your veins. ugly. ugly indeed. to take images of good friends having fun, and attack like that — must come from a horrible place inside.

i still have a lot of trouble accepting the weight i’ve gained, but i’m inspired by those that carry their bodies and themselves with style and attitude.

28 thoughts on “this one’s for the fat girls

  1. I don’t get the bonus points, but this was a beautiful post! Since every single woman has struggled with their weight at one time or another, you think we’d ALL be able to show a little compassion to one another…regardless of size or shape.

  2. As someone who has been underweight my entire life, this whole weight issue has become sensitive to me. When I was in my 20’s -I was one mean bitch. I don’t know why, but that is the kind of snarky comment I would’ve made back then without giving it a second thought.

    Now that I am approaching 40 and am wiser, and hopefully much kinder, I’d like to apologize for snarky mean bitches who can’t see past their own skinny ass. One can only hope that person will also grow the hell up and appreciate that beauty comes in many different containers.

  3. you know this works both ways — i know that another form of insulting/discrimination comes from “average” or larger sized women point-blank asking a thin woman “are you anorexic?” or telling them to “eat something”.

    either way, these are sensitive, sensitive subjects.

  4. Women in a hot tub? WHERE!?

    I know, it’s a sensitive subject. I come from the background of Ren Faires, where women of all shapes and sizes are worshipped more or less for the fabulous people that they happen to be at the time. I’m all about that. Nothing sexier on a woman than confidence, I say. (Well. That, and me.)

    That’s two jokes. But I mean well.

  5. I’m inspired and THANKFUL to finally be dating someone that loves me for me, just like I am. And he tells me that I am beautiful even though I have issues with the “too fluffy” parts of my figure. Ahhhh… what wonderful bliss! Especially after 8 years of hell with the Insignificant Other!

    Now I can’t wait to be a lusty wench at the Ren Faire on Saturday! What a blast I’ll have! Skinny chicks just can’t get the cleavage right. Mwuhahahaha!

  6. OH! OH!!! I know where the quote is from! (I think. I hope I’m right) Is it from “Baby got Back”? Am I right? Do I get a prize? 😉

    (E-mail me and let me know!)

  7. while they might have said that in Baby Got Back (i don’t know), that wasn’t what i was thinking about.

    hint: awards ceremony. and that’s the only hint you get.

  8. I think it’s what Camryn Manheim said during her Emmy (?) acceptance speech. For my prize can I have my new FTP password, oh guru?

  9. *Sigh* some people are just too bitchy for they’re own good. I pity her, yeah. But I also know what it feels like to be the brunt of such shallow, judgemental pettiness.

    To those folks I say:

    So what if I’m a size 12/not super pretty/terribly klutzy? You may be remarkable for your lack of body mass, a gorgeous profile and dazzling smile, or ability to glide through hotel lobbies in stiletto heels on thick shag carpets, but I am remarkable in in more substantial and meaningful ways.

    Old people, children, and animals like me. People, familiar or otherwise, open up and tell me things — because I listen. I see things in a quirky and serendipitous way. I love. I accept. I laugh and enjoy and cherish. And given the option to shrink my ass to fit in your miniscule Calvin Klein’s, I’d decline the offer with a lightness of heart if not of physical being.

  10. I just bet the person that left that comment didn’t leave a valid address or webpage. Just like the person yesterday who told Portia to get over herself or the person who told me that if I should get out of the country if I didn’t like George Bush or the person who told me that all foreigners were Aids-filled welfare scum.

    Stupid people. Stupid scared little people.

  11. kd, as you said earlier, folks insult thin people as well. Even more disturbing to me as a thin person is this seems to be socially acceptable. I had a lengthy rant on my site years ago about this. Seems wrong to me that someone can approach me and say “Jesus, you skinny little shit, what do wear? Size one? I bet you don’t even weigh 100 pounds soaking wet!” and laugh and no one will say a thing.

    However, if I was to publicly approach a larger woman and say “Hey, fat ass! What size do you wear? 24?? You must weigh 300 pounds!”…. well, that wouldn’t go well for me at all. And I’d never dream of saying something that mean. Which goes to show how we are conditioned as a society. Being overweight is looked at as something bad and therefore isn’t mentioned in polite society. Being thin is supposedly acceptable so it’s okay to talk about it, even in a mean spirited way. Am I making sense? Probably not because I’m tired and I tend to ramble. Anyway, we all need to practice kindness and respect in every situation we encounter.

  12. I know that nameless comment must belong to Tiny, and I so have to second that. If there’s one thing that Faire has given me that nothing else in my life has, it’s the feeling that, heeeeell yes I’m sexay, no matter if I’m a size 6-8 (which I was my first season) or a size 14-16 (which I am now), post-kid.

    Hell, apparently I looked like a dangerously skinny twig when I was a size six.

  13. stacey, she didn’t leave a valid webpage in her actual entry — that is correct. However, she is the live-in-roomie of the person this all started over, and you can find the mindless twit’s blog here:

  14. What I say to the insensitive people out there (who don’t know me from Adam, or the problems I’ve had that got me here) is “I may be fat, but youse is ugly and I can diet.”
    You don’t have to be thin to be beautiful… and to me, the outside of a package doesn’t always reflect the beauty of the gift within.

  15. Awesome post! I swear that was just a low thing to say. And you know, I have to say that on the opposite end of the spectrum, just because you’re thin doesn’t mean you struggle with your weight either. I struggle with anorexia and body image. I’d like to thank Cosmo for that. I’ve been anywhere from a size 2 to a size 12. Like Robyn said, if you don’t love me when I’m a size 14, I sure as hell don’t want your love when I’m a size 6.

    If there’s one thing I love about the internet, and making friends is that I don’t give a rats ass what you look like. I love you for who you are. It’s a trait carried that over into my non virtual life over the last ten years, as well.

  16. All I can add to the above is a bunch of dittos to what has been said in other comments. Be it that we are plump are stick like, I believe that we all struggle with our self image. To attack someone to viciously, to mak egrand statements that are hurtful, you have to wonder where someone like that is coming from and how they can hate so much.

    Statia, being on the twiggy side of the spectrum and having no cleavage to speak of I cannot agree more with what you, and KD have said.

  17. eep! sorry just reread and realised I mistyped some of that. “attack someone to viciously, to mak egrand statements ” would in fact be “attack someone so viciously, to make grand statements”

    grazie. 🙂

  18. In my educated opinion, the wretch in question should be dragged out into the street where the rabid rats shall be released to gnaw at his limbs. We will then cut him into tiny pieces, put them back together with rubber cement, and beat the pieces with sticks. Big sticks.

    That’s just what I think.

  19. that’s so shallow. it saddens me that some people just can’t accept another’s weighty issues. are they so perfect themselves? who are they to judge?

  20. And reading back again, Lisa’s right. It’s perfectly acceptable for someone to say “what are you a size 0?” in a mean spirited way, and no one would bat an eyelash. I already have enough problems with body image.

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