i’ve made a new category, because you know i didn’t already have enough. it’s just monday is so different from any other day. and mondays in december are their own special circle of hell.
fortunately i’m a fairly good actress when necessary, i.e. at work. it’s such a disconnected feeling to sense myself smiling and hear the cheer in my voice and know it stops exactly at the face. everything behind that is reacting like an allergy to the whole world, all puffy and sniffly.
now that i’ve been blogging for awhile, i can go back and see that yes, virginia, there really is a pattern. i go nuts in december. i cry all the time with very little provocation. i spend the entire month feeling like i’m barely holding onto sanity. and then january comes and cures me, so it’s not that seasonal affective thing, it’s a specific month. december.
i also do badly on mondays. so today? i’m just glad to be at work, sitting here looking fairly normal, i don’t think anyone here suspects i’m out of my mind.