blah blah

i’ve made a new category, because you know i didn’t already have enough. it’s just monday is so different from any other day. and mondays in december are their own special circle of hell.

fortunately i’m a fairly good actress when necessary, i.e. at work. it’s such a disconnected feeling to sense myself smiling and hear the cheer in my voice and know it stops exactly at the face. everything behind that is reacting like an allergy to the whole world, all puffy and sniffly.

now that i’ve been blogging for awhile, i can go back and see that yes, virginia, there really is a pattern. i go nuts in december. i cry all the time with very little provocation. i spend the entire month feeling like i’m barely holding onto sanity. and then january comes and cures me, so it’s not that seasonal affective thing, it’s a specific month. december.

i also do badly on mondays. so today? i’m just glad to be at work, sitting here looking fairly normal, i don’t think anyone here suspects i’m out of my mind.

15 thoughts on “blah blah

  1. ugh mondays suck! I just want to go back to bed and sleep till friday afternoon – or maybe through the whole month of december and skip it all.

  2. oh, i would just love to do that. wake up all refreshed and rested and have it be next year already dammit!

  3. *big bear hugs* been feeling a bit blue here too, with no rhyme or reason to the feeling. Some days you just feel silly for feeling that way, or at least I do. I send you big bear hugs, covered with chocolate! 🙂

  4. I want to start a hibernation club…

    I know how you feel. I hate MOndays too.
    And December is always hard.

    I’m going to have to do an emotional holiday post soon, I feel it coming….

  5. Blah Blah is a good category, kd. I, too, am barely holding on to sanit–oops. There it goes. Sanity!! Yeah, you – get back here, you slippery bastard!!!

  6. Because we keep getting it drilled into us that we’re supposed to be magically happy now, when really we’re just as we always were. But because we think we should be happy, we feel like shit because if we’re not happy, there must be something wrong with us or our lives… and then there’s all the happy-family ads on TV at this time of year, which, if you have a normal dysfunctional familt, also make you feel like there’s something wrong with you…
    It ain’t so, don’t buy it!

    p.s. Sorry about the double post, dunno how it happened – but hey, double hugs and keeses for you!

  7. …completely understand… fall is my ‘black’ time … take cheer in the fact the month is nearly over… be well, go in peace and take good care

  8. I don’t like the holiday season one bit. Just a lot of stress and a lot of spending. Christmas is so commercial that it’s just a contest to spend the most money.

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