good book

so i’m sitting here trying to find my way back into my shirt. not as easy as you’d think. ah well. i have to tell you about a book i was given, a book about sex. a book that … well, i’d given up. and i’m quite sure i told hanne that i would have to hide such a book from my SO, lest he get ‘ideas’. because i’d given up on it. i had no desire.

and that’s because i got fat. and old, but fat being the operative barrier between me and desire. but she sent me Big, Big Love. and rather than hide this from the SO i decided to go for it. to embrace the concept of being desirable while not resembling a ‘friends’ cast member. there are other issues, but the primary thing is that i had lost interest in me, which led me to lose interest. in general. totally.

and now i have a book that could change that. i’m not convinced there can be change. but i am beginning to think there is a chance.

23 thoughts on “good book

  1. i am laughing. actually, i kinda like friends. i mean, it is what it is. there’s some funny dialog and that’s about it, it’s not going to change my life or make me wanna go out and get a hair-doo like chandler or whatever.

    i’m fat too. but you know what? it sucks being hard on oneself. i try not to be, but it’s a constant battle.

    we have blogs. we have cameras. we have friends and family. we have what’s left of the unspoiled universe. we have resdiscovered led zep bootlegs.

    what else could you ask for?

    q: what does ass taste like?

    drunk is good. very good. whoa. storm watch.

    p.s. beatnik-party-hut! hoo-yeah

  2. know what’s better than drunk? finding that you can open beerbottles on the kitchen counter handles. oh fuck yeah. life rocks.

  3. We’re not fat, kd, we’re big-boned. And, who cares? I mean, if we can find the love of another based on something deeper and more fulfilling than our physical selves, shouldn’t be anyone else’s business what our weight is.

  4. not to interject or nothin’, but there’s nothing mutually exclusive about being fat and having someone find your bod extra-spicy and pipin’ hot. it’s just not an either/or proposition.

    i tend to get a little irritable when people reiterate the old stereotype that unless you’re thin/young/ablebodied/otherwise conform to a particularly narrow band of what physical attractiveness is “supposed to be,” you’re likely to find love only if/when people can love you for something “deeper” than the body you live in.

    simple truth: everyone wants to, and deserves to, be loved for all that they are, including but not limited to their physical bodies and/or looks.

    simple truth: everyone also has a chance at being loved for their body and/or looks, no matter what that body looks like. human beings’ tastes are astonishingly catholic when it comes to what turns them on. i don’t care what you look like: there is someone out there who will think you’re the most physically sexy thing on the planet (and i’ve seen enough extreme examples to know it’s true).

    diversity. it’s a beautiful thing.

  5. Its not the thinness I hate about “Friends”. Its the fact that they are always in each other’s face.
    And Joey is so dumb…really..
    I couldn’t stand all those people around me all the time..
    I hope they don’t renew another season.
    But I have to admit that I liked the Brad Pitt episode for Thanksgiving.
    An old boyfriend once told me I was too thin. And believe me, it hurt just as much as if someone were to tell me I was too fat.
    WTF??? Ya are what ya are….
    I never said I was a role model for anything..I’m just trying to find my way through life and make enough Christmas cookies for the Holidays.
    Gotta go. “Joey” is at the door….

  6. well, with me it’s — ok, i can look at other people approximately my size and think they’re attractive, but i look at myself and i don’t like what i see. but then, when you gain like fifty pounds over the course of a little over a year, it’s a shock. and yes, before this, i was always chubby — and i thought i was fat then. sigh.

  7. Yes, hanne, thank you. Thank you much.

    The sexiest woman I know constantly denigrates her ‘big ass,’ with makes me want to scream, ’cause I find it (and her) incredibly sexy. She’s got these curves going on with this waist and this hourglass kinda shape and… and soft belly… and… uhm…

    Pardon me. I gotta go, now.

  8. Go on with yr fat, sexy self, KD!

    Hanne most definitely does rock. She sent me big, big love IN THE SAME PACKAGE AS a very very sexy collection of erotic fiction AND atomic fireballs.

    It’s quite a combination, I think. Hahahahaha.

  9. KD, girl, I’m glad you’re gonna go for it! I think it’s a healthy self-image and self-acceptance that makes people desirable. There are amazing, sexy people of all shapes and sizes.

  10. probably the best thing about blogging has been the talented, generous, thoughtful people I’ve met.

    Hanne is definitely one of them.

    Her book gift-giving this holiday season has been all kinds of right for all kinds of people, I see.

    Now…get to screwin’.

  11. Great book–made sure I owned it as soon as it arrived in the bookstores. It is hard work to find self-acceptance, but Hanne makes it clear that there is great stuff on the other side.

  12. kd, being a friends character is over rated, there are no laws that state that you have to be a 5’8″ 110 pound blond haired blue eyed goddess to be desirable. As was said above sexiness comes in all shapes and sizes. You are stunning in person and in character; you are wonderful, caring, and gregarious. Forgive me for this because I know it will come out sounding wrong, cute as a button. You kd, if I may say so are a desirable women. Now go, don’t come back until that book has been put to use 😉

  13. Friends is a lame-ass show that jumped the shark after its second season. When the writers ran out of ideas, they decided to enthrall us all by hooking all the characters up with each other. Why would you want to be a part of that?

  14. i was using that as a metaphor for being young and (skinny and) desirable. and that would be a horrible life, eh? to want to conform and to suffer for not conforming? that would suck ass and not in a good way.

    i’m sorry, there is no good ass-sucking in my life. there may be folks who think the salad-tossing is all hot and whatever. but not me. no.

    “tastes like ass” will always be a bad thing to me.

    do you know what ass tastes like?

    i’m sorry i’m so drunk.

  15. it’s wierd kd, but lately whenever i have a thought about something i want to blog, i click on you and there it is! a ‘friends’ lifestyle is so over-rated. (been there, done that) when people say you should just be comfortable with who you are and not how you look, i want to hit them- hard. there isn’t a moment in the day i don’t think about my weight. i will probably always be like this, but your story is inspiring to me!

  16. you. are. a. dingdong. a good self-image is the sexiest thing about anyone, and getting nibbled and fondled is not only great for your self-image (bonus!), it’s also good exercise. sexy is as sexy does, baby. now go do that boy. why the hell are you reading this?! go!!

  17. ok girl I am so glad I didn’t see this post last night when my ass was drunk 😉 but yesterday we were at the bookstore and I saw a whole series of the letters to playboy books and dang it if I don’t want one of those 🙂

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