so i’m sitting here trying to find my way back into my shirt. not as easy as you’d think. ah well. i have to tell you about a book i was given, a book about sex. a book that … well, i’d given up. and i’m quite sure i told hanne that i would have to hide such a book from my SO, lest he get ‘ideas’. because i’d given up on it. i had no desire.
and that’s because i got fat. and old, but fat being the operative barrier between me and desire. but she sent me Big, Big Love. and rather than hide this from the SO i decided to go for it. to embrace the concept of being desirable while not resembling a ‘friends’ cast member. there are other issues, but the primary thing is that i had lost interest in me, which led me to lose interest. in general. totally.
and now i have a book that could change that. i’m not convinced there can be change. but i am beginning to think there is a chance.