holiday cheer spreading

some see it as a day off — i see it as a week with two mondays.

anyway, a couple months back i bought a pair of pants while in a whimsical mood. prior to that, i had purchased a pair of size 18’s, which fit in the store, but during the course of wearing would become terribly baggy, so i figured, this time, i’ll get some 16’s maybe? and yet somehow i managed to choose a pair of size 14’s that i could almost, but not quite, get into. there is absolutely no excuse for this, first of all it makes no sense to buy clothing that one can only hope will fit, and second of all, i’ve done it so many times, so very many times — i know better. or at least i’m supposed to.

so i did wear the pants. once. fastening them required lying down on the bed and buttoning and zipping with all my might, and a nasty hangnail for my trouble. i had convinced myself that wearing them would be an appetite deterrent, but as it happened, i got invited out to fish and chips that day, huge platters of excellent fish and chips. i experienced a momentary sense of unease as i accepted the invitation, but otherwise was undeterred. i hurt myself with those fish and chips in those pants.

so those pants were good and loosened up. i didn’t wash them (that shrinking in the wash thing causes me to have very relaxed standards for cleanliness as regards too-tight pants: as long as there aren’t actual clods of dirt and/or food caked on, in an area that is visible to others, they’ll do). i just put them in the drawer and made vague plans to get some exercise, or just up and quit eating, or maybe win the lotto and have lots of liposuction (you know, realistic stuff). and there the pants sat, or rather, lurked.

until this morning. i decided for some reason to wear them. and guess what? the loosened-up version of them is exactly as tight as the non-loosened one was, in the store.

unless pants fabric springs back to its original size while folded in a drawer, do you suppose that could be it? sure. time and folding probably have the same effects as water and heat, right?


17 thoughts on “holiday cheer spreading

  1. I know you will probably find this disgusting…………but I have exactly the opposite. All my school suits look like crap on me cause I have lost so darn much weight since August! I really need to have new suits, but it takes a long time to get them and so I just had to have the ones altered. No matter what I do I don’t seem to gain weight. I seriously need to put on 30 lbs or so, but to no avail! Seriously, the opposite is just as much a problem.

  2. i was totally looking for the stretch — but Ross Dress For Less doesn’t always have all the cool things i want in the right size/color, and their prices on the clearance rack are close to thrift store pricing! so i suffer.

    i should quit whining and go to Target, right? i bet they have nice stretchy jeans.

  3. Ok, I admit it! Y’all made me laugh :-)). Stacey, I live in shorts too. And I’ve never considered it, but maybe KD has made an awesome discovery! Maybe I am not the one thats… “changing” (ugh)

  4. One word


    Ever since being pregnant with Kayla, I “run hot”. I have decided after a few failed attempts at wearing jeans in the past year (not to mention that I was roasting in them the whole time), that I will stick with shorts until jeans decide to become my friends again. Besides, shorts are stretchyyyyyy.

  5. no. no shorts. even if i shaved my legs more than semi-annually, there’s still the fluorescent white skin color, and the being way out of shape thing. no. no shorts.

    in hot weather, long skirts. in regular weather, jeans. i used to have lots of jeans, but since i gained weight this past couple years, and i just don’t shop like i used to, i now have one pair of jeans that fit, and these ones i’m wearing now, which may not make it out the door.

  6. One trick is to not dry the pants all the way, and then put them on while slightly wet. They then dry to a size bigger or so.

    I’ve been drinking Slim-Fast instead of 1 meal a day to lose some weight, and will try to get up to 2 Slim-Fast meals per day. It works, but it seems to produce the problem of, um, well, leakage…

  7. oh, i’ve done the wet pants thing. and let me say this about that: if there’s something that feels worse than too-tight pants, it’s too-tight pants that are damp. oh man. the chafing.

    but, it works.

    what i’m going to do though, is, take advantage of not being tied to clock-punching during office hours, and start walking again. nice, vigorous, long walks with weights and good music. it’s easy to get into, it feels good, it just takes time. and time, now, i have.

    i don’t want to be skinny. i want to be a healthy, size 13 or 14. if i were to get down to size 5 again, i’d look like a shar-pei.

    plus i have all kinds of cute pants that size.

  8. oh by the way — the pants didn’t make it out the door. after an hour-long trial run sitting in a chair, i gave up and went with the baggy.

  9. yes I agree, must be the folding, it has to be ’cause otherwise I really have no explanation for tops and pants shrinking. I truly believe there is some little drawer imp who takes much joy in shrinking clothing. Also letting clothes hang out to dry seems to work in the no shrink department.

    I prefer wearing sarongs in the summer; flowy, light and airy.

  10. the slim fast thing works (and costco has their very own brand of shakes!), but exercise is the only thing that’ll keep it from coming back. [he said, trying to convice himself that that treadmill looks very inviting right now…]

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