some see it as a day off — i see it as a week with two mondays.
anyway, a couple months back i bought a pair of pants while in a whimsical mood. prior to that, i had purchased a pair of size 18’s, which fit in the store, but during the course of wearing would become terribly baggy, so i figured, this time, i’ll get some 16’s maybe? and yet somehow i managed to choose a pair of size 14’s that i could almost, but not quite, get into. there is absolutely no excuse for this, first of all it makes no sense to buy clothing that one can only hope will fit, and second of all, i’ve done it so many times, so very many times — i know better. or at least i’m supposed to.
so i did wear the pants. once. fastening them required lying down on the bed and buttoning and zipping with all my might, and a nasty hangnail for my trouble. i had convinced myself that wearing them would be an appetite deterrent, but as it happened, i got invited out to fish and chips that day, huge platters of excellent fish and chips. i experienced a momentary sense of unease as i accepted the invitation, but otherwise was undeterred. i hurt myself with those fish and chips in those pants.
so those pants were good and loosened up. i didn’t wash them (that shrinking in the wash thing causes me to have very relaxed standards for cleanliness as regards too-tight pants: as long as there aren’t actual clods of dirt and/or food caked on, in an area that is visible to others, they’ll do). i just put them in the drawer and made vague plans to get some exercise, or just up and quit eating, or maybe win the lotto and have lots of liposuction (you know, realistic stuff). and there the pants sat, or rather, lurked.
until this morning. i decided for some reason to wear them. and guess what? the loosened-up version of them is exactly as tight as the non-loosened one was, in the store.
unless pants fabric springs back to its original size while folded in a drawer, do you suppose that could be it? sure. time and folding probably have the same effects as water and heat, right?