Whoa, respect to the Grandma

it’s bugged me since the first time i saw it. wrong on many levels. i mean, way to blame minimum-wage earning, taco-bell working folks for their extravagant $6.75/hr lifestyle. way to point vague blame at the sort of operating costs that are part of a good business plan, or a good contingency plan at least. and finally, for crying out fucking loud, the cost of the soft drink syrup in the average cup is what five whole cents? ten? yes, it adds up. i can only hope that the dollars that seniors would have otherwise spent there, feeling they were getting a little extra treat, are also adding up.

the sign of cheapness

i’m probably not being entirely rational about this. ok, not probably. i really can’t explain in any logical way, why i get so bent every time i see this stupid sign. whatever happened to respecting your elders? ferfucksake, give granny her mountain dew, put the spring back in those fallen arches. now, pops, you give him that sierra mist stuff, he’s cutting back on his caffeine, his ticker ain’t what it was.

damn. i have to quote adam sandler.


The Grandma Song
Adam Sandler

Jabawokee ding dong
Slip slap slee
Dipstick paddywhack
Pee pee googalee gee
Polly wolly sling slang
Skooey dibbely doo
Wing wong ping pong King Kong Cheech ‘n Chong
Hop hip kagagoogoo
Hickory dickory slickory flip flap
Dip skip to my Lou
Flim flam wham blam Sam bam Cunningham
Whack snack koochie koochie koo

Plus you gotta dip, you gotta doodle
You gotta eat Grandma’s stroodle
‘Cause she stayed up all night to make it from scratch
You gotta gish, you gotta gash
You gotta wax Grandma’s mustache
And lay out her socks
To make sure they match
Whoa, you gotta help out your Grandma

Slappety dappety sling skism skasm
Bing bang boo
A yip, a yap, a snippety snap
Walla, walla scrappy dappy doo
Piddle paddle fiddle faddle widdle waddle
Awhee clunkety clang
A plop, a fizz, a whackety whiz
Chitty chitty bang wang lang
Zippity doo dang lipidee ay
Oompa loompa doo
A piggly wiggly dooda
Stinky winky linky foo man choo

Plus you gotta dip, you gotta doodle
You gotta shave Grandma’s poodle
‘Cause Grandma would do the same for you
You gotta libby, you gotta labby
You gotta hug Grandma, even though she’s flabby
‘Cause you should know Grandma’s are people too
Whoa, you gotta love your Grandma

Now if you listened to the words of this song
You know they’re coming straight from the heart
Never make fun of your Grandma
Even when she rips a juicy fart

And remember to dip you gotta doodle
You gotta stop playing with your noodle
‘Cause Grandma said it will make you go blind
You gotta gipper, you gotta giper
You gotta change Grandma’s diaper
And then pretend that you really didn’t mind

Whoa, respect to the Grandma

8 thoughts on “Whoa, respect to the Grandma

  1. that’s right, pass the blame on to those $6.75 an hour peons. it’s the fault of the single mom trying to raise two kids by working three jobs to rent a roach infested motel room. it’s the fault of the high school student that’s bringing home most of his paycheck to his parents to help raise his siblings rather than going on to college.

    it can’t be the fault of PepsiCo (or whomever owns Toxic Belch now) board of directors. nahhh, they’ve done what they could. hell, they’ve downsized from their $10,000,000 mansions to $5,000,000 hovels. they’ve even *gasp* had to let some of their hired help go! the horrors of having to drive yourself to work are indescribable!!

    my heart bleeds.

  2. I think old people can pay for their drinks just like the rest of us.

    Is $6.75 really minimum wage now? That’s really not bad at all, considering it wasn’t long ago that I scrubbed floors in a pizza place for $3.25 an hour.

  3. Bottom line is, if they don’t cut costs somewhere, some of those minimum wage workers won’t have a job. Businesses are not required to give freebies to people, old or not. I do agree, though, that it was tacky to (seemingly) lay the blame on a minimum wage increase. Simply mentioning the rise in energy costs should have been sufficient.

  4. That’s ridiculous. I work at a minor-league ballpark in the accounting department, and I know exactly how much soda costs, and it’s really, really cheap. You know how when you buy a large soda somewhere, you get one of those plastic cups? Well, the cost of the plastic cup PLUS the soda that fills it $0.03. That’s right. Three cents. At that rate, if 250 seniors came in there each day, they’re saving $7.50.

    Now, I’m sure that Taco Bell buys stuff in different volumes than we do, and my guess is that they buy stuff in much larger quantities than a minor-league ballpark, especially when you consider that we’re only “open” for events 80 out of the 365 days a year. So their cost is probably less. (Like I said though, I’m guessing on their volume, but if you think about it, it makes sense.)

    Jen, I agree with you that if they have to cut costs somewhere, they just have to. But they shouldn’t take away a service that has come to be expected. Buy cheaper napkins, use generic cleaning supplies, charge 10 cents more for a taco, anything. There are so many little costs that go into running a business that add up, and there are a lot of places where you can cut costs or add extra income.

    They shouldn’t be blaming the fact that they can’t balance their budget on the underpaid people who are just doing their jobs. Yes, minimum wage is around $6.75 (depending on what state you live in), and 40 hours a week (after taxes) at $6.75 here is just barely enough to cover rent in my neck of the woods. Truth is, $6.75 an hour in 2003 really isn’t that great. It’s a bit better, but not good enough.

    Wether or not you agree if “old people can pay for their drinks just like the rest of us,” (I personally agree that they should pay…maybe give them a senior discount or something) they shouldn’t take away a service that customers (who I’m assuming are loyal, regular customers, otherwise this wouldn’t be an issue) have come to expect – that’s just bad customer service. I’m willing to place a bet on the fact that a lot of regular seniors stopped going there because of the new rule. (Actually, it would probably be better for them to stay away from there, health-wise. But that’s not what this is about.) Remember that $7.50 that they’re “saving” because of this new rule? They just lost it again with customers that won’t return on a regular basis.

    (sorry for the extended rant, but sometimes stupid companies really piss me off.)

  5. Egads! Damn those people for wanting to make a living just below poverty level instead of way below it! Damn them all to hell!

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