more babbling, about pants this time

which seems to be the extent of my abilities at the moment. which is fine. uh, sort of.

so i had to buy pants. the first work-related pair i bought shrunk — lengthwise. which was not fine. even wearing them low, which they’re sort of cut like that, they are too short now. ok well that is sort of fine, since they weren’t the greatest pants by any means. so i needed pants. oh, how i hate shopping for pants.

’twas ok though. went to the department i have to look for pants in, you know the department i’m talking about, the big department, and for the most part i have to say damn what are the pantsmakers thinking? i mean i saw size 18s that were cut, like brittney low. they were christina low, man, they were low. and excuse me but the sheer fact of size 18 means you are not built to wear pants that don’t clear the hipbone. trust me on this.

anyway i’m in the big pants department and i spy cute pants on the re-hanging-up rack, which are waaay too big, so i ask the salesgirl if there are other sizes and she looks at me and says oh, no, this is the women’s sizes. bless her heart, she thought i was in the wrong department. so i patted her guide dog on the head (no not really) and explained i was in the right place, and lo and behold they did have them in my size, only thing was that they completely failed to disguise any aspect of my ass whatsoever. i mean there it was, you know, out there. so there were other cute pants, my size in theory but my god. not only painfully small (i know, i tried them on twice, just to make sure), but there was a major toe problem. you know. sigh.

and there were adorable pants that were jeans but overdyed and embroidered up the side and … i might go back for them if i can convince myself that they are unjeansy enough for work wear. i am having some difficulty with the fact that i hate most if not all non-jeans pants. just hate them. the pants i settled on were, ok, technically denim, but in a tweedy pattern and not cut exactly like jeans, i will never admit they are jeans, not even under threat of death by slow torture.

but you know what? i’ve lost weight. not a lot, not so’s you’d notice (well, except for the little salesgirl, bless her heart). but yeah, the jeans that used to hurt like hell now fit fresh out of the dryer. maybe even a little baggy. oddly enough, as exhilirating as this would be, i still can’t get into the pants i used to wear back last january, when i went to that first bloggermeeting in santa monica and was appalled to see in pictures how big i was. i’m still bigger than that, and yet i feel … well, i actually feel ok. perspective i guess.

i’m more boring than usual lately, but i assure you brain death was painless, and i’m … um. woo? yeah. i have pants.

13 thoughts on “more babbling, about pants this time

  1. so glad you got some jeans, er..i mean pants. that’s what we’re calling them, right?

    “i actually feel ok. perspective i guess.”

    you do rock, ms. kd. nothing but wisdom from you.

  2. once upon a looong time ago, when i had aol, there were these people called ‘the boinks’ … boink1, sboink, boink325, 7boink, etcetera … they would pop up in an Instant Message and yell “I HAVE PANTS!!” and then disappear.

    were you a ‘boink’???

    regarding pants? overalls are my covering of choice. i just need to find some nice DRESSY ones … LOL! do they make those??

  3. I absolutely just hate buying clothes….pants especially. Shoes are the next problem…..I love shoes, but I hate buying them. So I have my uniform….if I find something that works, I buy several. That way I always have something I feel comfortable wearing….and I have time to find replacements before the things I love wear out! (Yeah….I’m crazy that way!)

  4. Shopping for pants sucks. Shopping for bras sucks. The only thing I could possibly shop for with any ease is a top. Everything else just sucks.

  5. Maybe it’s terrible of me to shop there, but just about everything I own currently is from Old Navy. This is because they have decent pants in size 18… and decent jeans, too. Relatively cheap.

    And sometimes they don’t have the size I want… so I just wander into the mens’ department and find me some baggy mens’ jeans 🙂

  6. What about those assless vinyl chaps that you wore on the webcam that night you were drunk?

    And hey where’s Kurtwood? Can he come out and play? I gots some firecrackers and bottlerockets.

  7. You slay me, kd. Hahahahahahahahaaaa. *snork*

    Here’s my suggestion, inspired by something a friend recently said to me: Make your office a pants-free zone. Problem solved.

  8. You slay me, kd. Hahahahahahahahaaaa. *snork*

    Here’s my suggestion, inspired by something a friend recently said to me: Make your office a pants-free zone. Problem solved.

  9. You slay me, kd. Hahahahahahahahaaaa. *snork*

    Here’s my suggestion, inspired by something a friend recently said to me: Make your office a pants-free zone. Problem solved.

  10. My legs are so damn long I can’t find proper fitting pants in the women’s section. Another thing about women’s pants that I detest (when I can find them long enuf) is that the crotch is halfway down to my knees. Uck. Got to go to the yy x zz sizes over there in the men’s department.

  11. Hon, it’s not the size of the pants that matters, but the size of one’s heart and the kindness of one’s spirit.

    Still, I’m glad you can wear those “non”jeans 😉

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