when i was young, i called inspiration “muse” & pictured a feminine presence, gliding across the consciousness in a gown that flowed like quicksliver around her, as she brought me words, a line or two like seeds. i believed her benevolence long after she had shown herself to be a fickle bitch; i blamed myself & lavished upon her all i could give, the pretty notebooks & pens i’d buy or steal if i had to, which would be consumed during sleepless night after night, endless revisions in search of her purpose for me. and by & by there came a time i looked back at what had stretched into decades & saw myself foolish through most if not all of it & i let it go. fractionally i wondered what might have been, but on the whole, i was scattered & left in charge of my own purpose.
& so i settled, as did the dust here in this cavernous drafty warehouse here, cluttered with only the most worthless bullshit, anything worth anything had long been sold, stolen, or otherwise wasted. oh, and here’s a huge pile of potential (hardly used, no reasonable offer refused).
& so i went about the business of hanging on. i managed. there were more failures than anything, more accidental successes than successful efforts, but somehow things got to humming along, tunelessly of course. numb, more or less, more was better. & then? out of nowhere? inspiraton. returned. unbidden. & my numbness subsided into tingling & i sat anticipating the words that would be given to me, ready to follow, ready to surrender & be led.
the air crackled as he walked in, flashing a greasy smile & smoothing his combover. any doubts were obliterated by the energy, the same familiar force, only intensified by an order of magnitude; my mind reeled with the possibilities. the smell of his pungent sweat punctuated the silence as he measured me with his eyes, shrugged, & offered one word, a question: “ready?”
i released a breath i had no idea i’d been holding & nodded solemnly, hoping i looked the part. he held his hands out, palms up, opened his eyes to mine & waited wordlessly until he saw the understanding dawn on me, & by dawn i mean it spun my world hard around me & then tossed me on my ass on the cold floor. the truth? the truth?
he was gone before i had the chance to thank him.
And if I were there instead of you. And if you were the one to lay the truth upon me. And if truth were more than just a vague concept that looked different depending on the very microsecond one was currently existing in.
Total Distance: 1989.24 miles Total Estimated Time: 32 hours, 8 minutes
And if truth were more than just a vague concept that looked different depending on the very microsecond one was currently existing in.
– which is what i’m counting on, a limitless thing i can explore, and not get bored, or boring.
(oh. and hurry.)
This is sad and completely off topic but I only just now figured out where I needed to click to leave this comment.
*blush*
there are a lot of really obscure code-related navigational elements. like the previous/next links at the top of this page? that’s PHP for increment & decrement – what it says is, if it’s not the end of the file, increase or decrease by one number.
i put stuff in mouseover to help, but aside from that i kind of like being obscure & difficult. i’m like that.
i doubt any of your successes were ever ‘accidental’.
more, please.
more? dude that took all night, i’m exhausted.
That was quite nice, indeed.