dot

shh.

either i am more exhausted right now than i’ve ever been in my whole life, or i have ghosts.

it was nevermind what a.m. when i curled up on the couch. i was cold, on the verge of shivering cold, so i burrowed under the blanket & began to drift off. & then there was something pillow-like, batting me on the head? this was tactile & vividly audible, & upclose & personal, tangible. i thought it might be the cat, & i thought this for a good long moment, because i couldn’t move or make a sound; finally i managed a nice loud ‘what the fuck?!’ … & it stopped. & the cat was nowhere near, which was rather a moot point, since it would have had to be at least four feet tall & capable of wielding a pillow, & my cat is short & lacks opposable thumbs.

i curled up even curlier under the blankets, by this time shivering hard. it’s never below 65° & generally closer to 70° in that house at night, but i felt cold like i’d never be warm again. just as i began to relax a little (i have intense goosebumps just writing this) it started again, this time, poking at my ribcage — considering the way i curl, this would not be possible for anything with any substance. it was damned annoying. i told it to quit it, & it did. & then i looked over at the computer & i would swear there was someone sitting in the chair, leaning forward intently gazing into the darkened monitor screen. so i threw a pillow at it.

& then without further interruptions, i fell asleep.

13 thoughts on “shadows with no substance, in the shape of men


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