she’s got a roadmap of jupiter

the worst thing about programming, is people. look, the play on words involving ‘misanthropy’ is no joke folks, i can only handle so much of friggin’ humans before i go … oh, not mad or anything. but anyway. i have antisocial tendencies & i ended up, after a tangled mess of semi-careers, programming computers. go figure.

but the damn people always manage to creep into the equation somehow. and in my mind when i’m coding i see their quizzical expressions, their furrowed brows, their determination in matters involving ‘what happens if i press the red button’ even if everything they’ve ever been told involves not touching the goddamn red button. is it so hard to keep your their grubby paws off the red button? (don’t worry. it’s not you. it’s them).

now you see, if all i had to do was write things to humor myself, i’d be so easy. i’d never make typos or trnaspose things or put the wrong bit of information in the wrong box. & if i did it would be easy to fix because there would be some logic to the errors. and i’d be done by now! instead of sitting here trying to think of what sorts of unthinkable things the end user might do. it’s like studying murphy’s unified quantum theory. for dummies. i didn’t say that outloud. oh, no, i didn’t.

[voiceover] . . . questions regarding the fundamental structure of our universe, its origin, evolution and its age; the reconciliation of the mathematical concept of continuum and limitless continuity with the concept of space-time; the reductio ad absurdum; the concept of an acausal connection active in the spacetime continuum, where according to Carl Gustav Jung and Wolfgang Pauli, “our primary mathematical intuitions could be arranged before we become conscious of them” – with the number being primordial, pre-existent to our consciousness; the essence of the material body, that is extension itself and its universal non-local connections; the shortcoming of the Cartesian coordinate system with its patchwork of bounding surfaces and coordinates; the indeterminate notion of a point particle; the space composed of points; the relationship of space to matter and light to time; the res cogitans and the res extensa; the cosmological position of man and the inevitability of the weak anthropic principle, as demonstrated within a cycle-interval of 1-5-9-13 stem cells – an evolutionary cycle that is an integral, coherent, zusammenhangend part of the 27 stem cells of The Life Sequence.

so i suppose i shall simply go mad. or blonde. hmm. decisions.

9 thoughts on “she’s got a roadmap of jupiter

  1. They say the end luser doesn’t know what it wants. But that is not true. The end user wants to complain. One can try to involve the end luser in the design process but the end luser protests it hasn’t the time. That is end luser speak for “I don’t wish to be responsible for my thoughts. I wish only to complain and eat Cheetos that gum up my keyboard and make it sticky and non-functioning: so that I can complain”.

  2. The end user wants what they’re used to, which is typicaly crap. Involving them in the design process should involve either hidden cameras or a couch and tissues, or better yet an orb on a chain with which to hypnotise. And is best left to the UI designers – it’s better for your police record that way.

  3. well, it’s a small shop, i get to mess with the UI & write the code & even document it — which is good.

    but what, exactly, is the answer to this question:

    “what’s a product category?”

    … how do you answer that? i wrote extensive instructions with screenshots with red arrows pointing out the interesting bits & everything. there were very clear instructions on how to set up the categories, and even suggestions on what they might be. however, i did not specifically define the term, product categories, because it sounded so … i mean what would i have said? “product categories are categories. for products. you know, so … products can be categorized.”

  4. oh by the way i have step one of the blonde project on my head right now. it’s warm.

  5. I once worked in the registrar’s office at the college I was attending. One day, in the midst of fall registration, the boss said “It would be a great place to work if it weren’t for the students.”

    Works for me.

  6. like strawberry blonde. i’ve been trying the gradual lightening thingys & it’s not getting the dark red out at all. it’s time to do *something*.

    i’m scared.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *