it is ten something in the morning, and i’m having a beer. it is a beer of largeness, and there is another one in the refrigerator.
in a strange twist on my story, i am feeling somewhat productive today, not exactly focused, but i lack the usual overwhelmed semi-frantic feeling i get when i consider the tasks at hand. could be that i’m a little tooooo relaxed? remains to be seen.
in any case i’ve gotten the biggest obstacle out of the way, & that was the inspiration that powered this redesign. have you seen phase II? it was not a pleasant energy, more a need than an idea, and it did not sit quietly at all, ever. i mean look at this here and that there and imagine having that in your head wanting not to be in there? and so a good week or two went by in which i accomplished nothing at all, because i would not let myself work on my own project first, and when i tried to get the other things done, i’d end up spinning, useless, you know … feckless.
so it was wednesday night when i decided to indulge myself in this, and it’s saturday morning & it’s more or less done. the several weeks that led up to wednesday lay in pieces in my periphery, i’m trying not to look at the waste & wreckage, resisting the thought that if i’d just done this in the first place i’d be done with the other projects too, free to work on the next. um. you know, it won’t look like this forever. i have ideas (imagine the ‘i’ word in this case being synonymous with affliction, or more accurately addiction). and this won’t last forever, and so i am not complaining no not a bit. i’m having a blast.
i should probably confesss something else to the two or more people who have been waiting oh so patiently for me to finish their sites: i had another inspiration, one of those pressing ones, & i did something else as well while i wasn’t doing yours: this one. ok? so now you know.
*mental note to self* never commit any major crimes, you confess entirely too damn much.