the m word

i disapprove of them. i turn my nose & sniff askance at them. i roll my eyes & make little tsk-ing noises about them. & sometimes, in a moment of weakness, i crack under the pressure, i succumb, i … meme.

yes, i deciphered my name (it’s in the more area). this, i blame directly & wholeheartedly on batgrl. not my fault.

in other news, i have the arms. now i have to make something wonderful for the giver of the arms. i need shiny things. and adhesives. but then again don’t we all?

my name, lizard, deciphered:

Literal meaning
“Stuck in traffic.”

Evolved through climate changes as the baleful influence of Halley’s Comet was felt sharply among those distracted from their dangerous work to stare at the sky, the name lizard was originally used spitefully to refer to warriors who died during drill practice, before being lost during a holiday in Exmouth.

Famous lizards
1. lizard Staplegun, who owes everything to the world’s sturdiest box;
2. lizard Dindymene, proponent of the indestructible tortoise;
3. lizard Trabmaw, who discovered paroxysms of fright; first holder of the office of London and Home Counties Chief Dawdler;
4. lizard Sponetote, of the generation which fondly remembers mottled glass;
5. lizard I Ach, BSc, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for stout boots;
6. lizard Jesus (“The Pale”), fascinated to death by the self-aware cartoon strip; first holder of the office of Hot Diggity;
7. lizard O’Nivea (“The Uncanny”), populariser of the concept of acceptable losses;
8. Inspector lizard Boonk, once saved by a popular music band made entirely of soap;
9. lizard L de l’Endeavour-Proms, who’s never forgotten an ice sculpture of Hugh Scully;
10. lizard de la Nightdodge, MD, MSc, reputedly trapped for twenty-nine days under a fallen monument to the world’s most attractive bucket.

Typical lizard motto
“Is this thing on?”

8 thoughts on “the m word

  1. OH no.. She has lost her mind, and resorted to meme… time to send the men in the white coats…

  2. no, no, the doll arms, the doll arms! remember, the doll arms? i’m perfectly sane. i just have a bag of doll arms, the ones that made the art director think of me? and now i have to make something wonderful for her. out of doll arms, & shiny things, & … adhesives! among other things.

  3. We have the same motto!
    I love that motto!
    I like Lizard Jesus, that has a familiar ring to it. Heh.

    Meanwhile I am the Pastry of God.
    I’d rather be the Pastry of Death, but we can’t have everything, now can we?

    I’m imagining a sphere with doll arms coming out in all directions….

  4. You know, you can do so much with the doll arms. Like staged photos – what if you were to have some growing up out of the ground outside your house – coming up out of the lawn? Or in a flowerpot? Fun fun!

  5. Attach them to a headband – have them coming out of your head like a crown, like a warped version of the statue of liberty’s headgear! Ok, I’ll stop now, I’m getting too into this…

  6. so many uses for the little arms.

    the container i bought a dozen very cheap rhinestone earrings in (for 99cents) will make a perfect coffin for that dead bee i have around here somewhere too. i must find chrispy. i miss that insect.

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