i disapprove of them. i turn my nose & sniff askance at them. i roll my eyes & make little tsk-ing noises about them. & sometimes, in a moment of weakness, i crack under the pressure, i succumb, i … meme.
in other news, i have the arms. now i have to make something wonderful for the giver of the arms. i need shiny things. and adhesives. but then again don’t we all?
my name, lizard, deciphered:
“Stuck in traffic.”
Evolved through climate changes as the baleful influence of Halley’s Comet was felt sharply among those distracted from their dangerous work to stare at the sky, the name lizard was originally used spitefully to refer to warriors who died during drill practice, before being lost during a holiday in Exmouth.
1. lizard Staplegun, who owes everything to the world’s sturdiest box;
2. lizard Dindymene, proponent of the indestructible tortoise;
3. lizard Trabmaw, who discovered paroxysms of fright; first holder of the office of London and Home Counties Chief Dawdler;
4. lizard Sponetote, of the generation which fondly remembers mottled glass;
5. lizard I Ach, BSc, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for stout boots;
6. lizard Jesus (“The Pale”), fascinated to death by the self-aware cartoon strip; first holder of the office of Hot Diggity;
7. lizard O’Nivea (“The Uncanny”), populariser of the concept of acceptable losses;
8. Inspector lizard Boonk, once saved by a popular music band made entirely of soap;
9. lizard L de l’Endeavour-Proms, who’s never forgotten an ice sculpture of Hugh Scully;
10. lizard de la Nightdodge, MD, MSc, reputedly trapped for twenty-nine days under a fallen monument to the world’s most attractive bucket.
Typical lizard motto
“Is this thing on?”