i don’t ask for much, but i do it incessantly

if taking hostages & calling this list my demands would help, well, i’ll see if i can work that into my schedule. in the meantime, i’d like to call the universe’s attention to the potential benefits of cooperating in advance of any desperate measures on my part, not the least of which would be the cessation of all this whining. aha! i see this appeals to you, i knew you were a reasonable sort of universe.

and i am a reasonable girl. my needs are … simple things that i’ve managed to transform into wildly twisty complexities of monolithical proportions, some of which have actually developed a weak gravitational field, making them ideal venues for some of the more spectacular leaps of logic i like to take.

& this is not one of those – in fact i would asseverate that there is a solid basis in something somewhere which supports … ok, i’ll cut to the chase: what i want is to meet (ok, meet being a euphemism here, we know what i mean, yes?) the person i wrote this for. yes, there’s been some progress in this area, however there are times i think i was better off when i thought it all impossible. now it’s just highly fucking unlikely, which is an infinitely more conflicted scenario. i’m a mess these days, between the outbursts of uncautious optimism & the spasms of certain sniveling doom which can & do coexist within a single breath, they are in fact doing so right here & now, which of course is neither there nor anywhere, at least as far as relevance to whatever this is & therefore i will trail off appealingly & give you those oblique up-over-the glasses eyes & leave it at this, with just one small suggestion, nay, a request, & a gentle one at that: i would ask that the expression in question be considered on its own merit. which i believe is not insignificant. thank you.

*ahem* now, i am willing to be patient on this issue, however some hot nasty sweaty sex just for the fuck of it would make the wait a lot less stressful. i’m willing to be real flexible on this, age & gender are far less important than enthusiasm & stamina & the sooner the better … yes, i’m as shocked as you are to hear this, so i’ll add a dismissive gesture & this wide-eyed guileless smile so i could be kidding if we need me to be.

and you know, i guess that’s about it, really. seemed like such a huge batch of need, which it is, it really is, i just thought there was more to it than just the whole soulmate thing. and let’s not forget the bottom line here, is silence — just imagine getting me to stop constantly saying please. it would be like stopping hitting yourself on the head with a hammer, or pretty close. think about it, hmm? i’ll be waiting. audibly. over. & over.

13 thoughts on “i don’t ask for much, but i do it incessantly

  1. ok, now i remember, there was one other thing. it’s about that book. does fiction exist for me? & oh yeah, why must everything slowly slip into the first person, how the hell am i supposed to tell stories from inside, which is only the most restrictive perspective possible, i mean being the center of my own universe is one thing, but being *a* center? no thanks. and whose idea was this anyway?

    i understand it’s a matter of voice which is a matter of persistence & process, & i will stipulate that since i haven’t actually started, it’s rather presumptuous to be addressing these things at this point, especially in this tone. i will therefore shutup & go back to the plaintive yet polite little chant we both know so well.

  2. Oh yeah.. where does one volunteer for hostage duty>? Hey if it get’s ya what ya want.. I volunteer

  3. i’ve spent the last few hours in a text editor with the love, the desire, & the things they have to say. it would be wrong to take the hostages first, without giving this a try. also it occurred to me that i might be able to write this real, as in physical real, although that thought may be indicative of some serious overconfidence caused by the bunch of you saying things like this.

    however it’s worth a try.

  4. “however, it’s worth a try.”

    yes, it certainly is. i find myself frequently envying your writing ability, liz. of all your many gifts, it is the one that stands out most. you are a natural writer. i hope you give yourself permission to take it seriously. no need to fake fiction, just write with your own true voice.

  5. you should hear the whining i’m doing about how long it takes me to do this ‘natural’ thing — if i write a post folks ooh & ahh over, you can bet it was four or seven hours of my life, more or less. i’m SLOW. and if writing five thousand words to get five hundred is like, a gift? i’d like to exchange it for what’s behind door number three please.

    or not, i mean, i myself rather enjoy the results, because honestly things — the really good things — happen on the seventeenth or twenty second attempt.

    so it will be a short book, and i’ll be done before i’m fifty. maybe.

  6. Liz, Liz, Liz…

    I read this post aloud to an audience that pumped its fist with me. You’re so fucking hot. I hope you get some sweaty, messy action soon. Meanwhile, don’t stop. And that whole fiction idea? My primary thought while reading these posts is “book deal.”

  7. Book Deals, Poetry deals, Geek Deals… And hot sweaty sex with more writhing and action than ever before seen…

    I got some pull with the universe.. I will see what I can do…

  8. I’m glad I’m not the only one who re/writes for what seems like longer than I should just to post an entry to be devoured and dismissed in less than 60 seconds.

    What’s it all about, Lizzie?

    On a purely selfish front, I do not mind your reluctance/refusal to join the ranks of nationally published authorship. Because, after all, the least amount of writers with original voices on the market, the better the chances a hack like myself may make a dent in B&N receipts. Alas, the issue of speed is a detriment to my writing, as well.

    This is, of course, for profit?

  9. profit? i think first i need to get used to the idea i might do this — for at least a couple decades i was firmly against the whole book thing, due to some seriously crappy crap i wrote when i was young. i’m still not convinced this is a good idea. and published? um. it’ll be a miracle if i ever submit anything to anywhere. it takes me up to three months just to mail a fucking mix cd. how long would it take for me to send something out that was going to get rejected probably a buncha times? rejected.

    maybe posthumously, huh?

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