in my hand

… because severely phobic people are just so entertaining.

yesterday, napping on the couch, he comes home. he says, hold out your hand. and i do. and he puts the thing in it. my eyes are blurry can’t make out what it is, so i ask …

it’s a bug.

scream. fling bug. scream again. cry. sit there feeling the afterimage of the feeling of the bug in my hand, for a good twenty mintues afterward. fixing up those pictures, had me at least half as freaked as the incident itself — it was in my hand. in my hand. that thing. my hand.
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16 thoughts on “in my hand

  1. do i want to know what it’s called? does it have a cute pretty name or an icky scary name? it was in my hand you know. for approximately three or four seconds. maybe two. but more than one.

  2. what is that, a palmetto? an acacia? a cicada? a scarab?

    in ancient egyptian mythology there was something about a giant dung beetle rolling…what was it?…either the earth, or the sun, or the moon, across the sky…and bugs of various kinds were messengers from the underworld. bees especially.

    i think someone’s wearing their shadow material on their sleeve…does he also leave little piles of rocks and stick figures by your bedside to find in the morning?

    twisted….

  3. all the dead insect gifts are messages. heh–he tossed this one, so i wouldn’t keep it as a pet too. bastard.

    i might grab some gloves & fish him out of the trash, because the more vivid the reminder, the more likely i am to eventually *do* something about it.

    in other news, i hate the whole phobia thing, really do. doesn’t seem like i’ll ever get over it, i just freak. i freak. i freak *hard*

  4. I can’t believe “he” thinks that funny? Sometimes I just want to come down there and kick some butt

  5. oh i LOVE those! we had peach trees full of them when we were kids. we always called them japanese beetles. we used to tie a thread to one of their legs and pretend they were our pets. can you image 5 or 6 kids walking around together with big green beetles flying on the ends of strings?! LOL! drove my mom nuts. if one buzzed her, she would throw her pitchfork up in the air and run out of the barn and into the house. when we were done playing with them, we would tie them to something low and let the cats play with them.
    ::crunch crunch crunch::
    yes, we were evil children…

  6. Oh. …and with those sharp things all along its legs? Yech!

    …but yeah, go fish him out. …or let us know and someone will find you another and send it along.

    Dead…

    …and with a warning note!

  7. see, i would so rather be someone who could play with bugs and tie strings to them (ok, maybe not exactly that, but still) than the sort who throws the pitchfork & runs. i just wish i wasn’t such a complete basketcase where creepy crawlies are concerned.

  8. That is actually part of my weeding out process of dating. I, like you, am pretty phobic about bugs, and I have decided that any man I am with must be a little afraid, but not as bad as me, so he can squish them. I may be a bit predjudice, but I don’t think you are such a basketcase.. I would throw the pitchfork and run too.

  9. There aren’t many bugs that freak me out. I’ve played with all kinds of them, from rolly-pollies to June bugs (Japanese beetles). I can remember being freaked out by only two — one was a hellgrammite I found when playing in a stream; the other was what we called potato bugs (for some unknown reason). We’d find them when digging in the dirt. The were yellow and black, big-headed, ugly, scrabbly things. <shudder>

    What I did like though, was jumping spiders. They are still great fun to play with. They’ll crawl around on your hand, then go round to the bottom side, and if you point a finger at them, they always turn to face it! 🙂

  10. That is the single wildest bug I have ever seen in my life. It is bizarre and totally beautiful! We sure don’t have anything like that here in flyoverland.

  11. I once saw a large bug fastened to a woman’s sweater at a party. It was attached by a gilded, bejeweled chain.
    The bug apparantly was quite comfortable and roamed freely within the space the chain allotted.
    Great conversation opener!!

  12. you’ve read my bug post, so you know that I have to suffer with a dead tarantula on the wall of our office. I can’t escape seeing it, it’s in a prominent location and it’s like it’s staring at me.

    it wouldn’t be so bad, cuz it’s dead, and from a distance it looks like a picture (which still sucks), but I used to have nightmares about a tarantula encased in glass in my high school biology lab. It used to escape and lurk under my chair…

    I don’t need dead bugs to scare me. I do a great job myself!

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