worthless kitty

scalp burning sharp breath ragged gasping body trembling thrumming oh god the thing, the thing wouldn’t fucking die. it wouldn’t die. cat had it in the kitchen, i cheered him on, go kitty go, get ‘im kitty get ‘im but no. cat got him down by my couch and just. sat. there. frantic panic looking for a box i won’t mind never feeling like touching again. a big one. grabbed some crap software box and told worthless kitty to move over. started pounding on the creature. i am not exaggerating i hit it maybe twenty times HARD and he’s fluttering faster faster and i hit him and i hit him and he’s STILL FUCKING FLUTTERING so i just go apeshit on him i mean BANGBANGBANG x maybe ten or maybe twenty, and finally it’s over. worthless kitty comes to poke at the corpse, i tell worthless kitty to move over so i can take a picture. see worthless kitty’s worthless furry feet there in the picture? yeah, he didn’t move.

oh we’re so getting generic catfood next time.

and i still have to deal with the … the corpse. the gooey, semi-dismembered … oh look! just a wing (the rest seems to have disappeared). (ok, that makes up for it. kitty gets the good stuff. and a saucer of milk too.)

and in other news, apparently a person can bang a box on the floor really loud a bunch of times while vocally panicking, with all the doors wide open, and not wake up mr. whatsisname. good to know, good to know.

and in still other news, my quest to deface various cds continues …

these just don’t translate well into two dimensions. trust me, in person, they … well, they kind of rock.

6 thoughts on “worthless kitty

  1. naah.

    the wing’s still on the floor, too. i just make a wide circle around it. *shudder*

  2. i’m going to try and google a pic of the truly terrifying moth i saw perched on the door of a 7-11 about 2 years ago. it was like something out of a stephen king novel. i think moths are in some ways the scariest of bugs, and i have a raging, screaming bug phobia like you wouldn’t believe. about 7 or 8 years ago i got into a fight with something that looked like an unholy union between a cockroach, a centipede and a silverfish, about three to four inches long, storming through my bathroom. screaming, i beat it with a shoe but it refused to die. i somehow scooped it up with a piece of newspaper and threw it in the toilet–not only did it refuse to drown, it WOULDN’T LEAVE WHEN I FLUSHED. it kept snapping at me, or maybe i just imagined it. i think somehow it travelled all the way from the amazon jungle to my bathroom in colorado. or maybe it just crawled out of hell. did you ever see the movie “BUG”? my worst nightmare.

  3. PS–okay, it looked sort of like this, except the top wingtips curved up, it was an unholy, sickly green-and-yellow sort of color scheme, and it looked particularly waxy/rubbery rather than velvety or furry, as if it had been created in a special effects shop. it was about six inches across in wingspan, and its antennae were huuuge.

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