bet you never suspected a defiant streak in me

first i wrote this re-living the morning in question. then i thought no. then i was going to collect silly links, but that became too time-intensive. so, in all due respect, i present to you a post in the same spirit with which i wore a perfectly coordinated all-ivory outfit (including veiled hat and little gloves) to my son’s funeral some 19 years ago. it was my way of saying a big fuck you to untimely death and all that traditionally dark attire and the attendant imagery; it was me, defiant, celebrating life.

and so with that, on this anniversary otherwise filled with moving tributes and so forth, i give you my new pet hat. i thnk it used to be a rabbit, or rabbits, which i ordinarily don’t approve of however since i will not be using this as headgear, rather keeping it as a furry inanimate companion, i will sidestep the fur issue thankyouverymuch, besides the tags are in russian and they have good reasons for furry hats. he was a gift from a coworker — my coworkers, they see weird things, they think me.
this is my pet hat:

this is my hat’s ass:

asshat! i love the term, asshat.

this has been brought to you by the exceedingly silly committee known otherwise as liz, who has also been known to keep dead insects and bags of caramel popcorn as pets, and wants to inform you that she does have an actual cat, a real, live cat, so … that makes this either more or less weird.

and if you find you are indeed in need of a distraction, i welcome suggestions on what sort of name would best suit my new pet hat — correction, my new pet asshat. yeah.

9 thoughts on “bet you never suspected a defiant streak in me

  1. I could not let this one get away, ummm it is dead isnt it, wouldnt want it to walk away now. Ok a name, how about Herr Doktor Chivago, no, brown wig, use it to cover all that orange hair of yours and enter some poor unsuspecting persons office and flip the hat off with a florish and say ta da i mean it could be good for a heart attack or two. no not a good name, cant help thinking of the russian guys. boris and vlad, walking in the snow come to a part of the trail that narrowed, and in the snow was a small brown patch. Vlad looks at boris, hmm looks like dog shit. yep dog shit says boris. smell. huh, smell, oh all right boris leans down sniffs, yep smells like dog shit. feel. what? feel, so boris reaches down and feels it, argh yes feels like dog shit. taste, what. taste. so reluctantly boris tastes it. spitting it out, taste like dog shit. oh good job we didnt step in it then. call it boris, use the russian sounds borrrissss. BFG

  2. i like the moose and sqvirrel connection too, but i just thought, what if he’s a she? i looked underneath, you can’t tell. maybe i should call her natasha?

  3. plus i have a friend with a dog named boris and that wouldn’t do. so we’ll call it a she and call her natasha. there. it’s settled.

  4. If that is a being (and who am I to say it isn’t) what is the purpose of that rather large oriface?

    I’m considering abandoning this comment to the place where poorly written comments are abandoned.

    Screw it.

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