regrettable

all my energy is spent again
but i can’t remember where or when
so i crawl back where i should have been
to tell the truth it’s more than energy that’s being spent …
shoulda gave it away

tired the mind says stop the hands say write the glands say fuck the rest tends to mutter & sputter some incomprehensible shit doesn’t it? spent the weekend camped with life packed outside except ofcourse computer re: last-minute waiver. regret regret regret is at the moment infinite. everything. every thing. and every whatif comes complete with its own wouldbe regret wrapped innate inherent there isn’t a right answer is there?

i don’t want to let you down, but friend
there’s something nice about the sound of drowning

in the interest of digression, an observation: recent bouts of clarity rudely intruded upon my own idealized interpretations, truths that maybe could be taken enraged at the sources but in my case the rage is taken internally (an hour or two before sunrise usually).

though you pray my soul to keep
but my conscience is a flake
now i lay me down to sleep
but i scratch myself awake … try to keep it away

i do not regret the reason i rage. i regret everything else.

should have my head adjusted
i simply can’t be trusted …
shoulda gave it away

**sound of drowning, pinching judy

6 thoughts on “regrettable

  1. it takes only one thing to help, just one little thing, it takes love my dear, it takes love. its hard to see a way out of the trees when the forest is on fire, especially when you lit the fire, it is hard to see the way. hold my hand sweet liz, hold my hand and i’ll show you the way, for i can see in the darkness and smoke, follow the witchmaker and all will be well. blessed be. bfg.

  2. i’m operating under the assumption there is no such thing as love — that it another childhood myth, like santa claus, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy, etc.

  3. whaddayamean, “another childhood myth, like santa claus, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy”? Did I miss something?

    It’s out there, babe…

  4. Hey beautiful lady, we all love you who congregate here, we all love to hear your thoughts and be associated in some small way with the personna that is Lizard. love is.

    blessed be. bfg

  5. all these years listening to that song — finally just recently realized, the sound of drowning is silence.

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