this is whiny and uncalled for and will probably be deleted in five minutes.

breakfast = string cheese, cookies, yogurt, naproxen, erythromycin, beer. *urp* may be able to keep computer hooked up here till (tomorrow) morning, maybe not. really tired of this constant highpitched ringing in the ear near the tooth.

not exactly sure where i’m going.

aside from that everything’s peachy.

a while back this stopped being a choice i made and turned into, as my son put it yesterday, “me and daddy are moving to a new house, and you’re moving somewhere else. do you know why?” and i said why and he said “because of this mess!” (pointing at my computer table) “look what you’ve done to this house”.

so yeah, it’s alllllll worth it isn’t it? leaving a situation that *felt* grim, for one that actually, materially, physically *is* grim. dunno, if i did still have a choice, i’d have to go with the life of quiet desperation in a house having luxuries like a phone than the one i’m headed out into right now.

on the plus side, it does make the bit about ‘i’d sooner chew my leg off’ hardly an exaggeration at all.

fuzzy math: in the course of the bitching out this morning he accused me of “spending at least five hundred dollars” on clothes in the past couple months. let’s see – an average $7 at the 99� rack, times maybe 6 times i shopped — hey! that’s why i’m broke! it’s not because he took all my income last month! oh yeah, and this is on “things i don’t wear” (except that they are all i have to wear, my old clothes didn’t fit).

still. what’s worse? living with an idiot in a house, or … not?

6 thoughts on “this is whiny and uncalled for and will probably be deleted in five minutes.

  1. listen sister, you rock. i so mean it.

    a few years ago i spent a month sleeping in my car rather than with the man who made me believe that everything was fault. i love that you are about to be free. don’t bring his voice with you.

    in related news, i have been desperately searching for the lyrics and/or mp3 of a song about hope that always make me think of you. if you send me your new address i’ll send it to you as a housewarming present. becuase i am too far away to bring you beer and ice, my other idea.

  2. but i need to stay near my job and i need to be able to watch my son three days after school and all weekend. i can’t go far. not with my car. i’m considering a place in hollywood and that would be a stretch, it would be rough going. but thanks 🙂

  3. what suzie said. because i can’t say it better. no mater what i am glad you are striking out on your own, dear. yes. i know that with it will come a whole slew of anxiety, worry, but we are here for you! got that!!! *squishysmooch*

  4. with all of your incredible talent and courage, i know you’re going to be more than okay; you’re going to be happy. trust me on this. p.s. where do you want me to send your inhaler? need one now?

  5. Hold your head up!! by Argent…
    That should be your theme song

    Do you really need that jerk you are with?? You are worth so much more than you think you are..

    Close the door and get the hell out of there!!!
    NOW!!!!!!!

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